Never Using It Again

Ah, the classic "pretend to be safe" AI script! Someone created the world's most useless AI safety mechanism - a Python program that just says it can't comply with dangerous requests while continuing to ask for more prompts in an infinite loop. It's basically the equivalent of putting a "Beware of Dog" sign on your fence when you own a goldfish. The filename "SuperSafeSupeIntelligence.py" is the cherry on top of this security theater sundae. Ilya Sutskever (OpenAI's chief scientist obsessed with AI safety) would be having a conniption fit right now.

The duality of Google's AI strategy in its full glory! Upper text: "25% of new Google code is AI-generated." Lower graph: "Massive spike in Google outages." That red spike isn't just a graph—it's the visualization of what happens when your AI autocompletes semicolons with emojis and replaces error handling with "try { } catch (e) { // TODO: fix later lol }". Correlation doesn't imply causation... but that spike is suspiciously vertical right when the AI started writing production code. Coincidence? I think not!

Oh, the beautiful irony! Training AI to spew corporate buzzwords and then mistaking that for consciousness is like thinking your parrot understands quantum physics because it can squawk "synergy" and "circle back." Turns out the Turing test is just asking, "Can you use the phrase 'let's take this offline' without actually solving anything?" If meaningless jargon is the benchmark for intelligence, we've been working with artificial intelligence in management for decades!

The eternal developer's dilemma captured in three painful stages of existence: First, we see Assembly code - a nightmare of register manipulation and syscalls just to print "Hello, World!" - with the crushing realization you missed the era when real programmers had to understand how computers actually work. Then there's quantum computing with its shiny gold hardware that looks like it belongs in a sci-fi movie. Too bad you're stuck in the boring classical computing era while the cool kids will someday manipulate qubits in superposition. But fear not! You were born at the perfect time to experience the true pinnacle of software engineering: begging an AI to center a div because CSS is basically dark magic that nobody actually understands. The circle of programming life is complete. We've gone from writing machine code to having machines write our code.

OMG, the ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of modern development! 😭 Left side: that magical moment when ChatGPT hands you the PERFECT solution on a silver platter (or orange, in this case). Right side: the rest of us programmers, DESPERATELY grabbing at that same solution like we've discovered the last chocolate bar on earth! The sheer DRAMA of it all! We're all just monkeys fighting over the same StackOverflow answers that ChatGPT regurgitates with confidence, while we're over here having existential crises about whether we even remember how to write a for-loop without AI assistance! The circle of developer life is now complete - from stealing code to having code stolen from us by our AI overlords!

The "future of autonomous vehicles" in a nutshell. Companies hype up their "AI-driven" robotaxis while quietly outsourcing the actual driving to some guy with a gaming steering wheel in a cubicle halfway across the world. It's the tech industry's version of the Wizard of Oz – "pay no attention to the underpaid contractor behind the curtain!" Next time your self-driving car makes an unusually human decision like slowing down for a squirrel or taking that shortcut through the alley, just know there's probably a dude named Rajesh getting paid $5/hour to make sure you don't crash into a tree. Silicon Valley's dirty little secret: most "AI solutions" are just humans in digital disguise.