Promptsitutes: The New Bottom Of The Dev Food Chain

Documentation: *exists* Developers: *immediately pull out the "I-don't-care-inator"* Let's be honest—reading documentation is like flossing. We all know we should do it, but somehow we'd rather blast it into oblivion and ask ChatGPT to explain that obscure method in five words or less. Ten years of experience has taught me that the time saved skipping docs is always paid back with interest during 3 AM debugging sessions. Yet here we are, finger hovering over the ChatGPT tab, ready to type "how to center a div" for the 500th time.

Crypto bros: "LLM token pricing is the future of finance!" Developers: *puts on glasses to see clearly* "Oh, you mean paying $0.0001 per API call until my wallet mysteriously empties after a for-loop gone wrong?" Nothing says "fun game for developers" quite like watching your credit card get charged in real-time while debugging a recursive function. It's just Candy Crush but instead of running out of lives, you're running out of rent money.

When AI "enhancement" goes beyond fixing pixels and straight into identity theft. The algorithm looked at a low-res image and thought, "You know what would make this better? A completely different person!" It's like asking for image upscaling and getting witness protection instead. This is why developers shouldn't let their neural networks watch crime shows during training.

Remember when we actually knew how to build websites? Now I've got a decade of experience but can't center a div without asking ChatGPT. The moment those AI servers go down, I'm reduced to a praying mantis in human form, desperately hoping my muscle memory kicks in for basic HTML tags. "What was that flexbox syntax again? Is it justify-content or align-items? LORD HELP ME."

When your AI is so advanced it thinks user complaints are features. Google's app store listing proudly showcasing "Lack of dark theme" with 300+ users agreeing! Nothing says "we're listening to feedback" like algorithmically promoting the very thing people are begging you to fix. Classic tech company move—if enough people complain about something, just rebrand it as an intentional design choice. Next feature highlight: "Frustratingly inconsistent UI (500+ users love this!)"

Remember the innocent days when AI was just about identifying cats and dogs? Fast forward to now, and suddenly we're in an arms race to create sentient beings. The escalation from "look, my model can tell a golden retriever from a tabby!" to "we're literally creating consciousness before our geopolitical rivals" happened so fast I got whiplash. Venture capital really took "move fast and break things" and applied it to the fabric of existence itself. Next quarterly goal: playing God with better ROI than the competition.