Promptsitutes: The New Bottom Of The Dev Food Chain

HONEY, ANOTHER TECH BRO THINKS HIS AI STARTUP IS REVOLUTIONARY! 🙄 The top panel shows some delusional founder with that manic "I just discovered ChatGPT" gleam in his eyes, screaming about disrupting the entire industry. Meanwhile, the actual industry (represented by endless shelves of identical products) is just sitting there like "Sure, Jan." The industry has heard this EXACT same pitch 47,000 times this week alone and is completely unfazed by your "groundbreaking" idea that's basically just GPT with a fancy logo slapped on it. REVOLUTIONARY INDEED! *dramatically faints onto keyboard*

You're trying to move a feature you barely understand into production, and your support system is basically a human pyramid of questionable reliability. Your senior is at the bottom (probably on their phone), Claude and Gemini are doing the heavy lifting in the middle, your cursor is there for moral support, and somehow a 12-year-old StackOverflow thread is the one actually keeping everything from collapsing. The best part? You're at the top pretending you know what you're doing while everyone below is desperately trying to keep you from falling. Modern development in a nutshell: standing on the shoulders of AI assistants, outdated forum posts, and one senior dev who's probably questioning their life choices. At least nobody's reading the documentation—that would be too easy.

The future is now, old man! Someone's shocked that in 2025 some developers still write code without AI assistance, and Kenneth drops the mic with "yeah it's called programming." Remember when we used to solve problems with our brains instead of prompting ChatGPT? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Some devs still have the audacity to use their neurons instead of letting GitHub Copilot write their spaghetti code. The horror! It's like being surprised someone knows how to do math without a calculator. "You mean you're writing SQL queries WITHOUT letting AI hallucinate your database schema? What are you, a caveman?"

Forget complex algorithms! This Python developer decided to outsource the "is odd number" check to ChatGPT. Just casually burning through API credits to determine if a number has a remainder when divided by 2. The function makes a full API call, parses the response, and checks if the answer contains "yes" - all to replace a simple return number % 2 != 0 . Peak computational efficiency! 💸

The classic "change my mind" format gets an AI twist. Guy's sitting there with his coffee, confidently declaring AI won't steal jobs—but with that crucial asterisk that people who actually know how to integrate it will be the ones doing the stealing. Meanwhile, there's literally an "Eden AI" paper on his table and a robot lurking in the background. The irony is thicker than legacy code comments. It's the perfect representation of the current tech landscape: those panicking about AI replacing developers versus those quietly building automation tools that make three developers do the work of thirty.

Your latest AI model requires the computational power of a small country just to tell someone how to center a div. Meanwhile, the energy bill could fund a small nation's GDP, but hey, at least it can write "Hello World" in 47 different coding styles. The model literally needs to pause and contemplate its existence before tackling one of the most googled questions in web development history. We've reached peak efficiency: burning through kilowatts to solve problems that a single line of CSS has been handling since 1998. Nothing says "technological progress" quite like needing three datacenters worth of GPUs to answer what flexbox was invented for.