Modern Solutions Require Modern Territorial Disputes

The second you mention you're learning to code, every relative suddenly transforms into Usain Bolt chasing you down with AI course recommendations. Nothing says "supportive family" like implying your freshly-learned print("Hello World") is already obsolete before you've even figured out how loops work. The programming journey: 10% learning syntax, 90% sprinting away from people telling you that what you're learning is already outdated. Pro tip: develop selective hearing - it's the most valuable skill in your coding toolkit.

The perfect metaphor for GitHub Copilot's autocomplete functionality! You start typing some code with a clear intention in mind, and Copilot jumps in with the confidence of someone who absolutely knows what you're going to say... except it's hilariously off-target. Just like when you're about to deliver a profound statement and someone interjects with "sandwiches?" The AI is trying so hard to be helpful but sometimes the suggestions are so wildly disconnected from your actual coding intentions that you can't help but laugh. It's that special relationship where you type "const authenticate = async (user" and Copilot suggests "...PizzaDeliveryOptions) =>"

The modern "full stack" - three AI tabs open in your browser while you pretend to know what you're doing. Remember when being full stack meant actually knowing multiple languages and frameworks? Now it's just knowing which AI to ask for which problem. "Yes, I'm proficient in Claude, ChatGPT, and Perplexity" should be the new line on resumes. The only stack that matters is the stack of browser tabs helping you fake your way through that ticket your PM swore was "just a small change."

THE AUDACITY! Harry writes his name and ChatGPT responds like it's some kind of magical pen pal from beyond the Forbidden Forest! 🪄 Developers spent DECADES perfecting AI just so it could introduce itself in fancy cursive? I'm absolutely DECEASED! 💀 Meanwhile, my code is still throwing exceptions when I forget a semicolon, but sure, let's have AI write calligraphy responses to Harry Potter. PRIORITIES, PEOPLE!

The tech industry's obsession with acronyms just got an upgrade. Remember when everyone wanted to work at FAANG (Facebook/Meta, Apple, Amazon, Netflix, Google)? Well, throw that resume in the trash. Now we've got GAYMAN – Google, Amazon, Y-combinator (I guess?), Meta, Apple, Nvidia. Because nothing says "I'm tracking the market" like reorganizing the same companies every 6 months into increasingly questionable acronyms. Notice how Netflix got kicked to the curb faster than a junior dev who pushed to production on Friday afternoon. Meanwhile, Nvidia swooped in riding that sweet, sweet AI GPU money train. The circle of tech life continues.