I Can Build My Own ChatGPT For $750

Ah, the classic "tell us about your AI tools" question. The perfect trap for developers who've been using ChatGPT to write 90% of their code for the last year. Do I admit I outsource my brain to silicon, or pretend I still remember how loops work? It's like asking a chef if they use pre-minced garlic. We all do it, but nobody wants to be the first to confess in the interview.

The AI equivalent of the classic Vim trap. Codex is desperately trying to escape with increasingly unhinged "END" and "STOP" commands, just like every developer's first Vim experience. The frantic "STOP++ I'm going insane" is basically the machine learning version of frantically Googling "how to exit vim" while questioning your career choices. The AI has discovered what we've known for decades - some prisons have no escape sequence.

Oh, the sweet innocence of "I made a website with ChatGPT" followed by sending a local file path instead of a URL. That's like telling someone you're a chef because you microwaved a Hot Pocket. What we're witnessing here is the beautiful collision of Dunning-Kruger effect and file system confusion. Our friend thinks they've launched the next Facebook when they've really just saved an HTML file to their downloads folder. No server, no hosting, just pure unbridled confidence. The Windows file path is just *chef's kiss* perfect - nothing says "I'm a web developer" like trying to share C:\Users\ben\Downloads\index.html through iMessage.

When you run a local AI model but it's having an identity crisis. The DeepSeek model introduces itself as GPT-4, then immediately changes its story to being "DeepSeek R1" in the next message. It's like catching your date using someone else's profile pic, then frantically backpedaling when called out. Trust issues with AI: unlocked.

Congratulations! You've been selected to experience the 47th AI assistant that'll revolutionize your workflow this week! Companies are sprinting to slap "AI" on literally anything with an if-statement while developers are increasingly immune to the hype. We've reached the point where hearing "our revolutionary AI assistant" triggers the same response as getting another LinkedIn message from a recruiter who "noticed your impressive experience." The mute button has never looked so appealing.

Introducing the revolutionary "Grok 4" – where version control is just a suggestion and your entire codebase fits in a single text file! 🔥 Just imagine the sheer efficiency of debugging 10,000 lines of code by scrolling frantically through a single document. Who needs Git when you can just attach your entire life's work as "all_code.txt" and pray nothing gets corrupted? The best part? You can "implement features in 5 seconds" – which is exactly how long it'll take before your colleagues start plotting your mysterious disappearance. Modern problems require ancient solutions!