Brain Atrophy: The ChatGPT Effect

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Marketing folks rejecting actual algorithms while embracing "AI" is peak corporate comedy. They don't want the nerdy math stuff—they want the shiny buzzword they can slap on everything! Never mind that AI literally runs on algorithms... but why let technical reality get in the way of a good slide deck? Next quarter they'll discover "machine learning" and act like they invented fire.

The sweet irony of OCR technology! Nothing quite matches that special rage when your computer—with its fancy machine learning algorithms—somehow can't recognize text in a font IT LITERALLY INSTALLED ITSELF. It's like having a roommate who stocks the fridge with beer but then forgets what beer looks like. "What's this strange amber liquid in bottles? Never seen it before!" And yet we keep trusting computers with increasingly complex tasks while they still struggle with the digital equivalent of "is this my hand?"

Nothing quite captures the soul-crushing despair of a Vibe coder like when those sweet, sweet token rates get throttled. One minute you're burning through GPT-4 calls like they're free candy, the next you're staring at rate limits and calculating if that API request is really worth it. The forced smile hides the pain of watching your AI models crawl while your deadlines don't. Remember when we thought AI would make our jobs easier? Hilarious.

Ah, Microsoft's "advanced AI" for Windows updates - apparently trained on the principle of maximum inconvenience. That code snippet reveals their sophisticated algorithm: if(user.isDoingStuff() && user.hasUnsavedWork()) { update(); } It's like they hired a team of sadists with computer science degrees. "Hey Bob, when should we force updates?" "I dunno, maybe when they're frantically trying to finish something important with a deadline in 5 minutes?" The only thing smoother about these updates is how smoothly they destroy your productivity. Microsoft's version of "AI" is just "Aggravating Interruptions."

An AI trained on StackOverflow responses would indeed be the most passive-aggressive assistant ever created. It would have a PhD in telling you your question is a duplicate of something posted in 2011, suggest you should have read the documentation that doesn't exist, and occasionally remind you that what you're trying to do is "trivial." The only thing missing is the ability to close your real-life problems as "off-topic."