Based On True Incidents

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The ultimate job security hack: be so utterly useless that even AI doesn't want your position! When your only contribution to the codebase is comments like "// TODO: fix this later" and your Git commits consist mainly of whitespace changes, you've achieved immortality in the corporate hierarchy. The sweet irony of being simultaneously worthless yet irreplaceable is the tech industry's greatest paradox. That guy's walking away with a smile because he just realized his strategy of writing completely undocumented spaghetti code for the last five years wasn't laziness—it was career insurance!

Oh. My. God. The AUDACITY of this comparison! 💀 Left side: One single, straight, boring track that takes FIVE HOURS of your precious life to build an app the old-fashioned way. Just you, your coffee, and your tears. Straight to destination despair. Right side: A CHAOTIC MASTERPIECE of tracks going in sixty different directions that somehow delivers your app in FIVE MINUTES with AI agents. Sure, you have absolutely no idea where those tracks lead, what data they're collecting, or if your app will suddenly decide to become sentient and overthrow humanity. But hey! It's 60x faster! Who needs control when you can have SPEED? Just don't ask what's happening in those mysterious junction boxes. The complexity is the feature, darling! 💅

Garbage in, garbage out has never been more relevant. GitHub's Copilot learned from millions of repos, including your spaghetti code with 27 nested if-statements and variables named 'temp1', 'temp2', and 'finalForRealThisTime'. Now AI is suggesting the same atrocities back to you. It's karma in digital form - the technical debt you've been accumulating for years is finally sending you an invoice.

When you ask ChatGPT to write code for itself and it gives you that look . The digital equivalent of asking a chef to cook himself for dinner. The audacity of some users thinking they can just casually request the AI to create its own replacement is both hilarious and slightly terrifying. Next thing you'll be asking it to solve the halting problem while making you coffee.

The eternal VC funding dance. Top panel shows startup founders desperately holding up an "AI" label when asked what powers their startup. Bottom panel reveals the truth: it's just "Algorithms" – you know, the thing programmers have been using since computers existed. Nothing says "add three zeros to your valuation" quite like slapping "AI" on your if-else statements. Venture capitalists can't throw money fast enough when they hear those two magical letters.