Based On True Incidents

Squinting at "LLM Token Pricing" with confusion, then putting on glasses to see "Microtransaction For Devs" with sudden clarity. That moment when you realize OpenAI isn't selling you API access—they're selling you the gaming industry's most hated business model. "That'll be $0.002 per token to debug your code. Want to generate an entire function? That's the premium package, buddy." Next they'll be selling loot boxes with random completions. "Congratulations! You got three hallucinations and a refused response!"

When your data scientist crush drops the ultimate bombshell: "data matters more than the model." That painful moment when you realize all those weeks perfecting that fancy neural network architecture were pointless because your training data is just a dumpster fire of inconsistencies. The hardest pill to swallow in machine learning isn't some complex math equation—it's accepting that your beautiful, elegant algorithm is worthless without quality data behind it. Garbage in, garbage out... no matter how many GPUs you sacrificed.

When Indeed thinks your software engineering skills make you perfect for managing a fast food joint, but still has the audacity to include a "This is a bad match" button. The irony is delicious – unlike what you'd be serving at El Pollo Loco. The tech industry in 2024: Spend 10 years mastering distributed systems and microservices architecture so you can flip chicken and manage teenagers making minimum wage. But hey, you get to "apply your skills in a new industry" – because apparently writing code and cooking poultry require the same skill set!

Ah yes, the classic "medicine bottle labeled as ChatGPT" with a terrified new programmer staring at it. Remember when we had to actually learn how to code? Now junior devs just ask ChatGPT "write me a React component that fetches data and handles errors" and boom—instant senior developer! Back in my day, we debugged with print statements and cried ourselves to sleep reading documentation. The future is here, and it's making all those hours I spent memorizing syntax feel like a complete waste of time.

Oh god, this is brilliant. Just imagine all those LinkedIn posts now: "Our new cocaine-powered chatbot will revolutionize customer service!" or "Top 10 ways cocaine will disrupt your industry!" The tech hype cycle and the actual cocaine cycle have the same phases: initial euphoria, inflated expectations, crushing disappointment, and somehow still costing you all your money. The only difference is one crashes after 20 minutes and the other after your next funding round.

Ah, the ultimate job security plan! Turns out the one person AI won't replace is the colleague who contributes absolutely nothing. That sweet spot where you're so useless that even automation can't justify the ROI of replacing you. It's like finding a bug so bizarre that QA just labels it as "expected behavior" and moves on. The perfect defense against technological unemployment isn't upskilling—it's strategic incompetence!