AI Broke Generational Trauma

Content ME, WHEN I WRITE A 25 LINE COMMENT EXPLAINING IN DETAIL WHAT A 4 LINE FUNCTION DOES SO FUTURE ME DOESN'T GET CONFUSED

The second you mention you're learning to code, every relative suddenly transforms into Usain Bolt chasing you down with AI course recommendations. Nothing says "supportive family" like implying your freshly-learned print("Hello World") is already obsolete before you've even figured out how loops work. The programming journey: 10% learning syntax, 90% sprinting away from people telling you that what you're learning is already outdated. Pro tip: develop selective hearing - it's the most valuable skill in your coding toolkit.

The ultimate statistical irony: a bell curve meme about bell curves that perfectly follows... a bell curve. You've got the low-IQ folks who think bell curves are funny because "haha, pretty graph go brrr," the high-IQ intellectuals who appreciate bell curves for the exact same reason, and the middle-of-the-curve galaxy brains screaming "BAN BELL CURVES!!1!" with the intensity of someone who just discovered their entire codebase uses tabs instead of spaces. The distribution of opinions about bell curves literally forms a bell curve, and that's the kind of recursive humor that keeps me going through sprint planning meetings.

Ah, the classic "let's use a sledgehammer to kill a fly" approach. Every tech startup these days thinks they need machine learning to solve problems that could be handled with an if-statement and a cup of coffee. After 15 years in the industry, I've sat through countless pitch meetings where some bright-eyed founder explains how their revolutionary AI will disrupt the sandwich-ordering process. Meanwhile, their actual problem is that they can't figure out how to store user preferences in a database. The real kicker? When they finally implement their neural network to predict topping preferences, it works worse than random chance. But hey, at least they can put "AI-powered" in their pitch deck!

When AI recommends /dev/null over MongoDB, it's basically suggesting you throw your data into a digital black hole instead of storing it in an actual database. For the uninitiated, /dev/null is a special file in Unix systems that discards all data written to it—it's literally the void where bits go to die. The joke here is that some developers have such strong opinions about MongoDB's reliability that they'd rather send their precious data into oblivion than trust it to Mongo. The AI is just the cherry on top of this tech burn—even artificial intelligence is supposedly dunking on your database choices now!

The eternal cycle of tech hype has reached AI, and seasoned devs are getting tired. Non-technical folks are out here acting like AI is going to replace us all tomorrow while pushing no-code solutions that barely work. Meanwhile, actual developers know the truth: these tools are just fancy autocomplete with good marketing. Instead of dropping cash on "AI that writes code," people could learn how their systems actually work and build sustainable solutions. But that requires effort, and why do that when you can just slap "AI-powered" on everything? The real kicker? We're the ones who'll have to clean up the technical debt when the hype dies down. Just like we did with blockchain, serverless, and whatever "vibe coding" is supposed to be.