They Call Me Senior Dev

First day on the job and already discovering the company's sacred tradition: figuring out proprietary tools through trial, error, and existential dread. Documentation? That's just a myth we tell children to help them sleep at night. The real onboarding process is being thrown into the deep end while your manager watches with that special gleam that says "I suffered, so shall you."

When the deadline's breathing down your neck, suddenly writing clean code becomes an impossible luxury. The project manager's watching in horror as you smash that deadline button, leaving a trail of spaghetti code, magic numbers, and zero comments in your wake. "We'll refactor later," you whisper to yourself, knowing full well that "later" is programmer-speak for "never." The technical debt collectors will come knocking eventually, but hey—that's Future You's problem!

The perfect explanation of why product managers exist! Developers are compared to wild gremlins who are "overwhelmed, easily distracted, and bite strangers" - basically feral code creatures who need protection from direct client contact. The second comment nails the harsh reality: without that PM barrier, clients would burn out developers faster than a junior dev deletes production data. It's basically developer conservation efforts in the corporate wilderness.

The circle of AI delegation is complete! Senior dev thinks they've discovered a brilliant management hack by treating juniors like neural networks and writing detailed prompts for them. Meanwhile, the junior is just copying those prompts straight into ChatGPT and letting the actual neural network do the work. It's basically prompt engineering inception - the senior dev is unknowingly prompt engineering for an AI through a human middleman who's adding zero value to the process. This is peak 2023 software development efficiency!

BEHOLD! The majestic art of software development in its purest form! This traffic light is LITERALLY hanging on by a thread but still bravely showing that red light like it's its ONLY purpose in life. 💅 This is EXACTLY what happens when your PM says "ship it anyway" and you're left with code that's one gust of wind away from total catastrophe. The traffic light DOESN'T CARE that it's dangling precariously - it has ONE JOB and by the gods of technical debt, it's doing it! Minimum viable product at its finest, darling! Who needs proper implementation when the core functionality works?! *dramatic hair flip*

Ah, the special hell of long-running PRs. You started that feature branch with such optimism three months ago, and now it's a fossil record of your coding journey while the main branch zooms ahead like it's running from your merge conflicts. 342 commits behind master is practically a different timeline at this point. Your branch isn't just divergent—it's practically in another dimension where Git's merge algorithm will eventually have an existential crisis. The only thing more painful than the inevitable rebase will be explaining to your team why you're still asking about the health of a branch that should have been merged or euthanized months ago. But hey, at least you've got a sense of humor about your impending Git disaster!