Jira Doing Comedy

The five stages of code review grief, compressed into four panels. First, you're riding high on that dopamine rush when your code actually works. Next, you swagger into the senior dev's office like you've just solved P=NP. Then comes the inevitable soul-crushing "You did it wrong" feedback, followed by the final stage: complete existential collapse as you realize your approach was fundamentally flawed and those 8 hours of work were essentially a very educational waste of time. Classic senior dev move—they don't tell you HOW it's wrong, just that your entire existence as a programmer is questionable.

Day 1 of a project: "I'm going to write beautiful, clean code with proper documentation and test coverage." Day 30 of the same project with 7 new requirements and 3 shifted deadlines: "Just make the damn thing work and we'll fix it in version 2." The customers don't care about your elegant architecture—they just want to see something flashy that doesn't immediately crash.

Oh. My. CODE. This is the ULTIMATE developer torture chamber! 🔥 You're LITERALLY TRAPPED in a sterile white room until ALL your unit tests pass?! The sheer AUDACITY! And that bottom caption - "agile was only ever gonna work in a world of magical girls" - is sending me into orbit! 💀 Because let's be honest, your sprint planning meetings would be SO MUCH BETTER with transformation sequences and special powers instead of Dave from backend complaining about story points for the 47th time. The "S/M" in the title isn't just Scrum Master - it's the sadomasochistic relationship we ALL have with our test suites! Embrace the pain, darlings!

Task estimation in software development is basically just high-stakes gambling with your career. "Shouldn't take long" is the biggest lie in tech, right after "we value work-life balance." The range between "an hour and 11 months" perfectly captures that moment when you know the requirements are vague, the codebase is a nightmare, and three different managers are asking for status updates. Meanwhile, the product owner is already telling clients it'll be done by Friday. Pure fiction, just like those story points we assign in sprint planning.

The eternal developer's paradox: You spend hours explaining why a feature is technically unsound, logically flawed, and practically useless. Your entire team agrees it's a disaster waiting to happen. Then the client sees it and acts like you've invented sliced bread 2.0. That moment when your professional trauma gets mistaken for genius... and somehow you still have to support this monstrosity for the next five years. But hey, the invoice cleared!

That face when your PM has absolutely no idea what's happening with the junior devs but needs to report something to the senior team. The grimace says it all - somewhere in the codebase, a junior is implementing a sorting algorithm with 17 nested for-loops while another is committing directly to production at 4:59 PM on Friday. Meanwhile, the PM is just trying to figure out how to spin "complete chaos" into "experiencing some minor technical challenges."