Family: "Prioritize the essentials when moving." Developers: *sets up computer in completely empty house* Let's be honest, who needs furniture when you have Wi-Fi and a functioning development environment? The bed can wait—those pull requests won't review themselves. Nothing says "I've got my priorities straight" quite like debugging code while sitting cross-legged on hardwood floors. Furniture is just decoration for the space between you and your precious machine.

The perfect encapsulation of that developer who writes the most chaotic, uncommented spaghetti code imaginable and then has the audacity to say "it works, doesn't it?" with a pirate's grin. These "vibe coders" treat programming best practices like Captain Barbossa treats the pirate code—mere suggestions that can be ignored when inconvenient. Their git commits probably read "fixed stuff" and their variable names are single letters that make perfect sense... to absolutely no one but themselves. And yet somehow, against all odds, their monstrosities run in production while the rest of us cry into our meticulously formatted, well-documented code that just crashed.

The circadian rhythm of code production has spoken! While the normies set alarms to drag themselves out of bed, we're over here setting alarms to remind ourselves that beds actually exist. That magical 3 AM clarity when your brain finally decides to cooperate and suddenly those bugs that stumped you all day surrender to your nocturnal genius. It's not insomnia—it's when your compiler and consciousness finally sync up. The quietude of night is just better compiler optimization.

When they say "comment your code," I don't think they meant copying instructions from a pizza box. But honestly, this is more helpful than most comments I've seen in production. At least it's clear what you need to do! Unlike that one function named "doStuff()" with a comment that just says "magic happens here." If only debugging were as simple as opening a box before eating pizza—though both activities do tend to happen at midnight while questioning your life choices.