The Three Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

The human brain: allocating 23% CPU and 2.4GB of RAM to thinking about sex, 8% to lunch plans, and a measly 2.4% to actually finding that seg fault. Meanwhile, writing documentation and unit tests are running in the background with 0% CPU utilization. Priorities perfectly aligned for maximum debugging inefficiency. The real kicker? Those embarrassing memories from 2007 somehow consuming 1.2GB of memory that could've been used to solve the actual problem. But hey, at least "Incoming Bowel Movement" is only using 0.1% CPU - small victories.

First day as a web developer: *IDE shows Internet Explorer compatibility error* "MY GOD THE SITE IS BROKEN!" Five years later: *same error appears* "Anyway..." The career progression of a frontend dev can be measured precisely by how dead inside you become when IE throws another tantrum. Eventually you just develop that thousand-yard stare and keep coding.

The eternal battle between developers and end users captured in its purest form! This GitHub issue shows a user absolutely losing it because they just want an executable file with a GUI, not source code they can't understand. Meanwhile, the maintainers are just casually closing the issue as "completed" and marking it as spam. It's the digital equivalent of asking for a sandwich and getting handed raw ingredients and a cookbook. The beautiful disconnect between "I just need a button to click" and "here's our elegant codebase" that fuels developer nightmares everywhere.

Content Devs can't pull Project. git on Windows machines because a file is named "Aux". What are our options? Create Linux VMs to SSH into Everyone can use WSL Rename the file?

Microsoft Azure CTO declares C and C++ should be "deprecated" while his entire company runs on it. That's like a fish suggesting water is overrated. Next up: Windows will run on thoughts and prayers instead of kernel code. Meanwhile, Linux kernel devs, game engine programmers, and embedded systems engineers just collectively rolled their eyes so hard they saw their own brain stems.

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this error message! 💅 "Your pictures can't be printed because this error occurred: An internal error occurred." SERIOUSLY?! That's like saying "You can't eat dinner because you're hungry!" The computer is basically telling you "Something broke because something broke" and then having the NERVE to add an "OK" button like you're supposed to just accept this toxic relationship. This is the digital equivalent of your ex texting "we need to talk" and then ghosting you for three weeks. I can't even! 🙄