Y'all Are Web Devs Right?

The eternal JavaScript framework cycle in one perfect image! Three scientists examining a rocket blueprint while standing next to an actual janky rocket made of paper and traffic cones. The disconnect between what we think we're building ("MY JS FRAMEWORK") versus what we actually are ("SOFTWARE ENGINEERS") is *chef's kiss*. Every six months some genius cobbles together a new JS framework held together with duct tape and promises, convincing themselves they're rocket scientists revolutionizing web development. Meanwhile, actual computer scientists are laughing their PhDs off watching us reinvent the wheel with increasingly elaborate names.

The classic developer redemption arc—starts with "TypeScript is just overhyped junk" and ends with religious devotion. Sure, TS saved you from production bugs, but at what cost? Your dignity, apparently. Nothing says "spiritual awakening" quite like being violently reminded that string | null isn't assignable to number . It's like having a personal compiler bodyguard who follows you around slapping nonsensical type assignments out of your hands while calling you names. The relationship between developers and TypeScript is basically Stockholm syndrome with better error messages.

The corporate world wants us to believe JSON and NoSQL databases are different technologies, but developers know better. It's like asking what's the difference between a filing cabinet and... a filing cabinet. Both store unstructured data in key-value pairs, both make schema changes trivial, and both make database purists cry themselves to sleep at night. MongoDB is basically just JSON with extra steps and a marketing team. Next they'll tell us arrays and lists are completely different concepts!

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute PEAK of startup innovation right here! 🙄 Some genius had the REVOLUTIONARY idea to... *dramatic pause*... make API calls to OpenAI. That's it. That's the entire business model! While everyone else is trying to be the "New Facebook" or "New Snapchat," this visionary is basically saying "let's be the middleman for technology that already exists and charge for it!" It's like opening a store that sells... trips to the actual store. THE AUDACITY! THE VISION! Silicon Valley investors are probably THROWING their money at this groundbreaking concept as we speak! Next week's brilliant startup: "We click buttons for you!"

Oh. My. GOD! The expectations vs. reality of code audits is sending me to the GRAVE! 💀 Top panel: The pristine, politically-charged algorithm that Elon thinks he'll discover in Twitter's codebase - a smoking gun that automatically deletes Trump tweets and bans authors! Bottom panel: The absolute HORROR SHOW he'll actually find - a cursed "isEven" function with a switch statement that returns undefined for 0, false for 1, true for 2, and false for 3. With a desperate plea comment "Please don't look at this" from some poor dev who KNEW they committed crimes against humanity! The reality of tech acquisitions: you pay $44 billion only to discover the backend is held together with duct tape, prayers, and questionable logic that would make computer science professors weep uncontrollably!

The euphoria of a new project idea hits like a shot of espresso at midnight. "This will revolutionize everything!" you think, bouncing with excitement. Then reality strikes approximately 300 seconds later when you realize you've forgotten how functions work and your environment is somehow missing half its dependencies. The duality of developer life: manic enthusiasm followed by existential dread, all before your coffee gets cold.