Y'all Are Web Devs Right?

The ultimate tech interview gauntlet: survive 16 mini-interviews, 2 background checks, and 4 programming tests only to be rewarded with... centering a div. Classic FANG move! Nothing says "welcome to the big leagues" like immediately facing CSS's final boss. Congrats on your $250k salary package—hope you remembered how to use display: flex and justify-content: center without Googling it!

Who needs user feedback when you've got noise-canceling headphones and pure intuition? Nothing says "I know exactly what businesses want" like building an entire B2B SaaS product in complete isolation from the people who'll actually use it. Just vibe with your keyboard, manifest those features, and ignore that pesky "market research" nonsense. The product team's gonna be thrilled when they discover you've built the perfect solution to problems that don't exist. Pro tip: For extra efficiency, don't even talk to your colleagues either. Pure genius flows best in an echo chamber of one.

THE ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY! Someone had the AUDACITY to move the cat's food bowl for a mere robot vacuum, and now this poor feline is staring at the wall having an existential crisis! It's the perfect metaphor for when your code can't find what it's looking for - THE HORROR! That cat is literally experiencing what every developer feels when their API returns a 404 Not Found. "My resource was JUST HERE, I SWEAR!" The wall offers no answers, just like your error logs when you desperately need them. The robot vacuum got priority access while the cat's entire world collapsed. Technology: 1, Feline sanity: 0.

The duality of API testing tools is just *chef's kiss*. While normal developers see Postman as a simple wrench to fix API requests, Postman sees itself as the Apple of testing tools – complete with grandiose keynotes and revolutionary features nobody asked for. What started as a humble Chrome extension has evolved into a bloated ecosystem that requires 16GB of RAM just to send a GET request. Meanwhile, developers just want to check if their endpoint returns a 200 OK without having to join a cult. The irony? We're all still using it while complaining about it. Stockholm syndrome for developers.

OH MY GOD, the EXISTENTIAL CRISIS that just slapped me across the face! 😱 If we're all just copying and pasting from Stack Overflow like the shameless code thieves we are, then WHO IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS BINARY is creating the original code?! It's like discovering that Santa isn't real but for programmers! Some poor, tortured soul must be sitting in a dark room actually WRITING ORIGINAL CODE while the rest of us just parasitically leech off their genius. The programming universe is built on a house of cards and I'm having a complete meltdown over here!

First the cute anime kid begs you to stop scrolling, then hits you with that deadpan stare and the cold hard truth: "Stop using JavaScript on Server." Look, I've been around since jQuery was hot stuff. Node.js showed up and suddenly everyone's running JavaScript on servers like it's a good idea. Ten years and 47 npm vulnerabilities later, we're still pretending this language designed to validate form fields should run our entire backend infrastructure. The kid's right. Sometimes you need a strongly typed intervention from a cartoon toddler to snap out of your JavaScript Stockholm syndrome.