True Story

When your love story begins in a GitHub issue thread, you know you've found someone special. Daniel struck gold by finding a woman who can actually commit — a rare skill both in relationships and version control. Mickey's pun game is strong, but Jashan takes it to the next level with that branch warning. The ultimate developer relationship advice: maintain a clean commit history and never let anyone fork your significant other's repository. Relationship status: Successfully merged without conflicts.

That ambitious learning roadmap you made when starting out? Pure fantasy. Three years later and you're still trying to figure out why your promise chain is returning undefined. The JavaScript rabbit hole has no bottom - just increasingly bizarre ways to shoot yourself in the foot. Meanwhile, those other languages you planned to learn are collecting dust in your bookmarks folder labeled "Weekend Projects" since 2019.

BEHOLD! The eternal lie every developer tells themselves when skipping proper documentation! "Don't worry, it's super intuitive, the user will know how to use it" they proclaim with unfounded confidence, while the poor user (represented by that absolutely CONFUSED dog) tries to figure out how to enter a doghouse THROUGH THE ROOF instead of the gaping entrance! This is the EXACT SAME ENERGY as releasing software with zero tutorials and then wondering why users are filing 47,000 support tickets! The audacity! The delusion! The sheer hubris of thinking your UI is "intuitive" when users can't even find the login button! I'm having flashbacks to every product meeting where someone said "it's self-explanatory" and I nearly threw my laptop out the window!

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of modern programming in one image! 😭 Once upon a time, coding legends casually CARVED ENTIRE OPERATING SYSTEMS from raw binary—FOR FUN! Like majestic stallions galloping up a beautifully carved staircase. Meanwhile, today's developers (myself included) are basically that sad little toy horse, drowning in frameworks, Stack Overflow, Git issues, and caffeine, screaming "NOTHING WORKS" into the void while frantically copying code snippets. We've evolved from digital sculptors to digital BEGGARS. The audacity of us calling ourselves "programmers" while we're just gluing libraries together and praying!

Ah yes, the classic JavaScript journey transformation. You start those "30 Days of JavaScript" tutorials looking all innocent and hopeful, thinking you'll master the language in a month. Fast forward to day 30 and you're a deranged code demon with eye twitches and murderous thoughts every time you hear "undefined is not a function." The psychological damage of discovering that semicolons are sometimes optional but also sometimes catastrophic will do that to a person. JavaScript doesn't teach you coding—it teaches you creative profanity.

The juxtaposition here is pure gold. After years of developers begging for dark mode on Stack Overflow, they finally release it in 2020... proving that yes, programmers literally only want one thing. And apparently it's "fucking disgusting" to want your retinas intact at 3 AM while desperately searching for why your code is broken. Sure took them long enough – we only had to wait until our eyeballs were practically fossilized from light mode strain. The sweet irony of Stack Overflow calling their most requested feature "coming to life" when it's actually saving the life of our poor, abused eyes.