Real

The eternal duality of developer existence! The top panel shows a legendary sword labeled simply "Vi" while the bottom reveals its modern counterpart "Visual Studio Code." It's basically the coding equivalent of choosing between a medieval longsword and a lightsaber. For the uninitiated, Vi is the ancient text editor forged in the fires of 1976, requiring arcane keyboard incantations and mystical commands that separate coding wizards from mere mortals. Meanwhile, VS Code is the shiny, extension-laden Swiss Army knife that practically writes code for you while making coffee. The true comedy? Senior developers clutching both with equal reverence, ready to defend their editor choice to the death. The holy war continues, one keystroke at a time!

Ah, the classic Medium experience. Shows up all excited with pizza (free articles), only to discover the place is literally on fire with paywalled content, AI garbage, and people yelling at each other about tech stacks. Yet we keep coming back like digital masochists. The "Stop using X" articles are particularly chef's-kiss terrible—written by someone who used the technology for exactly 37 minutes before declaring it "fundamentally broken."

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute NIGHTMARE that is text encoding! Satan himself couldn't have devised a more exquisite torture than making developers deal with UTF-8, UTF-16, ASCII, and whatever unholy abominations lurk in legacy systems. One minute your strings are perfect, the next they're spewing �������� like some possessed digital demon! And don't even get me STARTED on trying to render the same text across Windows, Mac, and Linux. It's like trying to translate ancient Sumerian while riding a unicycle through a hurricane. WHY can't we all just agree on ONE standard?! But nooooo, that would be TOO CONVENIENT for humanity!

While the cool kids flex their fancy CI/CD pipelines with automated tests and rollbacks, you're over here living dangerously with your IDE directly connected to production via FTP. That nervous sideways glance says it all – you know one wrong keystroke could bring down the entire system, but hey, it's not a bug, it's a feature! Who needs 12 deployment steps when you can just drag-and-drop straight to chaos? The digital equivalent of performing surgery with a chainsaw while blindfolded.

Ah, the eternal database dilemma! The colored figures represent different database options trying to lure our poor developer (white figure) with their flashy features and dollar signs. MongoDB (purple) flashing its JSON documents, Oracle (brown) flaunting its enterprise price tag, and Neo4j (green) showing off its graph relationships. But then... along comes SQLite (yellow) with its elephant-sized PostgreSQL compatibility and simple file-based structure. Our developer instantly falls in love with the database that doesn't require a second mortgage or a PhD to operate. It's like dating apps but for databases—swipe left on complexity, swipe right on "just works."

The dream of every developer who's spent too much time shopping for domains: create your own TLD like .dev or .io and become the overlord of developer vanity URLs. Just need that small loan of a million dollars first! Meanwhile, we're all stuck paying $50/year for that perfect domain name that we'll use for exactly one weekend project before abandoning it. The modern developer's equivalent of buying gym equipment that becomes an expensive clothes hanger.