Crumpets And Code: The British Cookie Conundrum

The programming language hierarchy in its natural habitat! While the "serious" languages are geared up for battle, poor HTML is just vibing in a clown costume. The eternal debate of "is HTML a programming language?" visualized perfectly. The hardened veterans of syntax and compilation stand ready, while HTML's just happy to be included in the squad. Reminds me of that one intern who shows up to the architecture meeting with nothing but enthusiasm and a vague understanding of what a for-loop is.

Every dev who's ever deployed their first monetized side project knows this pain. You spend 300 hours building a SaaS app, celebrate making your first $20, and suddenly your entire family thinks you're the next Zuckerberg. Meanwhile, you're hiding in the attic calculating that your hourly rate works out to about 6 cents, wondering if you should mention the $200 you spent on AWS credits. The classic "ramen profitable" stage where the only thing more fragile than your codebase is your ego.

The eternal programming adventure - you start coding with hope and optimism, then inevitably hit a bizarre bug. After hours of frustration, you find that exact bug described in a dusty StackOverflow thread from 2013. The question has 47 upvotes, 12 people commenting "I HAVE THIS EXACT PROBLEM!!!"... and zero answers. Just a tumbleweed rolling by and the original poster's final comment: "Nevermind, fixed it" with no explanation. The digital equivalent of finding an ancient treasure map with the actual treasure location torn off.

In the realm of developer clout, 500 GitHub followers makes you practically royalty, while 2 million YouTube subscribers is just... meh. Nothing says "I've made it" like having a handful of fellow nerds who appreciate your elegant solutions to problems nobody else understands. YouTube fame is for the masses—GitHub fame is for the classes. The true knights of the coding round table don't need dance videos and clickbait thumbnails to prove their worth—just clean commits and well-documented PRs.

Every coding quest begins with brave warriors marching into the unknown, only to discover the ancient StackOverflow scrolls left by those who struggled before them. The true heroes aren't the ones who solve problems first—they're the ones who document their battles so the next generation doesn't have to fight the same bugs. Nothing says "I care about humanity" like posting a detailed answer to a question with zero upvotes from 2013.

HTML sitting there with the actual programming languages like it belongs. Nice try, markup language. You're just fancy text with delusions of grandeur. Next thing you know, CSS will want voting rights too.