Crumpets And Code: The British Cookie Conundrum

The meme starts with a noble plea to "STOP making fun of different programming languages" followed by compliments for various languages: C is FAST, Java is POPULAR, Ruby is COOL, Python is BEAUTIFUL, Haskell is INTRIGUING... and then there's just "JavaScript" with no compliment whatsoever. The silent burn is absolutely devastating. Even in a post about not making fun of languages, JavaScript still gets thrown under the bus by omission. The programming equivalent of your mom saying she loves all her children equally and then forgetting to mention you.

OH. MY. GOD. Someone actually rendered HTML in frosting! The absolute AUDACITY of making a cake that validates better than most websites I've built! 💀 That poor cake is just sitting there with properly nested tags while my production code is held together with duct tape and prayers. And they even had the nerve to label it "best cake ever" - which is the EXACT opposite of what my code reviews say about my HTML. I'm having an existential crisis because a DESSERT just outperformed my six years of web development experience. Excuse me while I update my resume to "not as good as baked goods".

OH HONEY, SWEETIE, DARLING! Google thinks software development is a LOW-STRESS JOB?! I just spit my energy drink across THREE MONITORS! 😂 Sure, nothing says "relaxing" like your production server catching fire at 3 AM, or that delightful moment when your code works perfectly until the client looks at it and it SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTS! Low stress? Please! We're just casually juggling deadlines, legacy code written by Satan himself, and stakeholders who think "making it pop more" is actionable feedback. It's basically a spa day with keyboards!

The evolution of "vibe coding" is hilariously captured here! The top shows modern vibe coding with trendy tools: starting with Astro (that sunburst logo), moving to Bun (the orange squares), and finally to Svelte (the sleek green wave). Meanwhile, the bottom panel shows the OG vibe coding: outsourcing to India with those global connection lines. Basically, your hipster friend bragging about their tech stack is just reinventing what companies figured out 20 years ago—except instead of "leveraging global talent," they're installing npm packages while sipping oat milk lattes. The circle of dev life continues!

The nested cardboard boxes perfectly capture the existential dread of writing nested <div> tags in HTML. Just when you think you've closed all your tags, surprise! You're still 17 levels deep in a container hell of your own making. This is what happens when CSS Grid is too scary so you just keep adding <div> wrappers until your layout accidentally works. The "HERE WE GO CODING HTML AGAIN" caption has the same energy as sighing heavily before opening your 8th StackOverflow tab of the morning. Frontend veterans know: we don't write HTML, we apologize to it.

The function loops through ALL USERS to find one with matching credentials instead of using a proper query. The comment is the chef's kiss: "This only works because there are not many users." It's like saying "my car doesn't need brakes because I don't drive fast." Bonus security nightmare: they're storing password hashes but comparing them directly instead of hashing the input password first. This authentication is basically a time bomb wrapped in spaghetti code!