The Difference Between Testing And Production

Content Doctor and Nurse Programmer and Tester

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute CRUELTY of throwing an innocent intern into the bottomless pit of legacy code! Look at that poor child sobbing over his spaghetti - LITERALLY what it feels like when you're staring at 10,000 lines of uncommented code written by some developer who left the company in 2007! The intern's tears are basically the universal debugging fluid at this point. That face is EXACTLY what happens when you realize the bug you're fixing is actually holding the entire application together like some kind of cursed load-bearing glitch. Whoever did this to the intern deserves to maintain a COBOL application with zero documentation for all eternity!

Content I FUCKING HATE PYTHON! I WANT TO FUCKING Strangle all Python devs who don't sign their 50 executables with a publisher and have them run out of non-system-protected directories in a production environment!

While the Alpha and Beta males are locked in their eternal, ridiculous hammer-and-anvil struggle, the TRUE software genius sits back with their documentation, waiting for the stable release. GASP! The audacity of skipping all that early-adopter drama! Why waste precious life force on buggy alpha builds when you can swoop in post-launch with a fully functional product? The rest of us MERE MORTALS are out here beta testing like unpaid interns while Final Release Guy is living in 3023 with actual working code. Simply scandalous!

That moment when a junior dev proudly announces they've "cleaned up" the codebase by removing "unused" functions, and suddenly the entire production environment collapses like a tree cut from its support. The code wasn't commented because the senior who wrote it was too busy putting out other fires to document why that "useless" function was actually holding up the entire architecture. Five minutes before the demo, everyone's frantically digging through Git history trying to figure out what the hell that Pink Panther function actually did.

Content Do You Smoke? Only when I write unit tests for my code Code hub Your Lungs Are In Perfect Health