No Seriously, How Did You Fail?

Ah, the duality of debugging. Start the day with methodical breakpoints and console logs. End it by threatening your computer with physical violence. Ten years of experience and I still find myself whispering dark incantations at my terminal at 2AM. Somehow, yelling "WORK YOU STUPID PIECE OF..." has fixed more bugs than Stack Overflow ever did. It's the programmer's version of percussive maintenance. Pro tip: If your coworkers start avoiding you during debugging sessions, invest in soundproof headphones. Not for you - for them.

Content test.py M X test.py isEven 1 2 3 4 5 6 def isEven(): ans input ("Was the number you entered even? "D if ans "yes" return True else: return False

Content First coding class of CS Prof: Warning are as important as errors Me:

Content GOT THE PRINCESS! HOW TO SAVE THE PRINCESS BY toggl USING 8 PROGRAMMING Goon SquAD LANGUAGES YOU HAVE JAVASCRIPT YoU SPEnD HOURS PICKING LIBRARIES SETTING UP NODE BUILDING A FRAME WORK FOR THE CASTLE. BY THE TIME YoUrE FINISHED WITH THE FRAME WORK, THE FORT HAS BEEN ABANDONED AND THE PRINCESS HAST MOVED TO ANOTHER CASTIC YOU HAVE YOU HAVE A LIBRARY FOR A CASTLE A LIBRARY FOR THE PRINCESS - CHARGE! YoU RESCUE THE PRINCESS HER DOG, HER ENTIRE WARDROBE EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER EATEN... FUCK - DID FORGET A NULL -TERMINATOR YOU HAVE C YOU SPEND HOURS TRYING TO EXPRESS THE ENTIRE RESCUE IN A SINGLE LINQ QUERY YOU GIVE UP AND GO TO STACKOVERFLOW TO HAVE JON SKEET RESCUE THE PRINCESS FOR YOU You HAVE JAVA YOU QUICKLY DEPLOY THE RESCUE TO PRODUCTION YOU DISCOVER You'vE LOADED TWO VERSIONS OF THE CASTLE BUT NO PRINCESS YoU HAVE LiSp YOU HAVE Go WE DON'T SUPPORT FREEING CAPTURED PRINCESSES WE ALREADY HAVE THESE FREE PRINCESSES IN THE STANDARD LIBR... ... WAIT, IS THIS THE PRINCESS FROM THE JAVA PANEL YOU HAVE PASCAL YOU DECLARE YOUR PRINCESS CASTLE RESCUE PLAN THeN YOU GO FOR A DRINK FORGET ABOUT THE IMPLEMENTATION YOU HAVE PHP YOU HAVE TO RESCUE THE PRINCESS... ... IN PHP... MART VIRKUS '16 ProdrammerHumor.io g toggl

The lion may be king of the jungle, but he'd be fired on day one at any tech company. Real developers know that skipping unit tests is like thinking your code works because it compiled once. Sure, you feel powerful now—until that 3 AM production bug when you're frantically debugging while questioning your career choices. The lion's confidence is cute until QA finds what the tests would have caught in minutes. Brave until the first regression!

Content Brenan Keller brenankeller A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicksidhd. First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone.