You Son Of A Gun

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Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Coq: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft ProcrammerHumor

Content Me on my 7th week of learning Java Why didn't you just try "very complicated thing never heard of" -3 score People saying my error message is not possible NEVER AGAIN. OWLTURD.COM I Oh I can't figure this out, i'll ask it on Stackoverflow

Content HeckOverflow How do I A ? - bork2121 999 A Vou do B.- thedudehinself 9999 But that doesnt do A. - bork2121 non Yeah nobody does A. - thedudehimself

The most honest answer in tech history. Nobody has a heroic origin story—we're all just professional Googlers with imposter syndrome and a knack for copy-pasting Stack Overflow solutions. The terrified expression really sells it because deep down we're all waiting for someone to discover we're just stringing together other people's code while pretending we knew what we were doing all along. The real programming certification should just be "Advanced Google Search Techniques 101."

THE AUDACITY of this confession is sending me into orbit! 💀 Fake it till you make it? More like fake it till they PROMOTE you for it! The sheer DRAMA of frantically Googling "how to fix syntax errors" while maintaining a poker face deserves an Oscar! And that promotion? HONEY, they're literally paying extra for the theatrical performance of you spewing technical word salad while internally screaming! The true masterpiece is mastering the art of confidently nodding while having absolutely no idea what's happening. We're not developers - we're PROFESSIONAL PANIC CONCEALERS with a side gig in Stack Overflow plagiarism!