The Real Answer Might Surprise Them

Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Coq: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft ProcrammerHumor

Content me taking advice from a StackOverflow thread from seven years ago:

Content How it started How it's going mcmillen mcmillen Reportedly, Elon stack-ranked Twitter engineers by "lines of code written in the last year" and fired the bottom X, which likely means he's gotten rid everyone who worked on particularly challenging things, like security, privacy, performance, reliability. 2:48 PM 04 Nov 22 Twitter Web App 775 Retweets 476 Quote Tweets 4,363 Likes 17 Matt Navarra O MattNavarra CONFIRMED: Twitter is now asking some fired workers to please come back - Some were laid off by mistake - Some were let go before management realized their experience is needed to build new features Elon Musk is planning FFS

Content POSSIBLE CODE CONTENTS TODO'S HIDDEN BUGS MISSING FEATURES - DUPLICATE CODE 00100100 CONTRIEVED COMPLEXITY HIDDEN FEATURES T CODE FROM STACKOVERFLOW DO NOT TOUCH CODE DOCUMENTATION MoNKEYUSER.COM

Education: "Plagiarism is unacceptable!" Professional programmers: "Hey, I stole your code." "It's not my code." The software industry runs on an elaborate honor system where we pretend we're all brilliant architects while frantically copy-pasting from Stack Overflow with one hand and GitHub with the other. The modern developer's workflow is essentially: Google the error, find someone who solved it 7 years ago, adapt their solution, and convince yourself you would've eventually figured it out anyway. Standing on the shoulders of giants? More like piggybacking on strangers' brilliance while muttering "I totally knew that" under your breath.