That Is Why Programmers Get Paid

Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER iN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS THE HEAVEN AND THE EarTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NOT GOOD THEN YOU SAID "LET ThERE BE LIGHT! BUT THE LIGHT DId NOT COMPILE. On THE SECOND DAY, YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE A HACK SO TH AT LIGHT IS PAKI THE LANC TO CREATE DARKNESS, YoU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUT THAT'S OK CAUSE CREATURES WON'T BE ADDED UNTIL LATER. AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE BUT BECAUSE OF THE DEPENDENCY, LIGHT BREAKS AS IS ACCIDENTALL' LAND FLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS) IT's THE ThIRD DAY. YOU TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT THE CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USING COOKIES, THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT WHICH UNFORTUNATELY NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER MAKES THEM MORTAL BUT THe CLIent ForGoT to LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE MENTION THAT LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE WATER IT'S THE FOURTH DAY. YOU DECIDE TO USE C YOU ALSO USE STL TO CREATE A BALLOON TURNS OUT THE ISSUES FOR ABSTRACTIONS AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WERE CAUSED BY THE WITH COMPLICATIONS FLAT EARTH DESIGN WHATSOEVER! DANGLING POINTE IT'S ThE FIFtH daY YOU START ADDING PEOPLE TO HELP You. ON The SIXTH DAY YoU LoOK AT THE CHAOS YOU CREATED YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE LEFT -PAD. REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS, FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES REACT (FUCKIT.JS' le, YOU ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING, BUT IT IS TOO LATE- EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES DAYTIMEAIR.JS HORIZON SEA.JS REALISTIC WAVES.JS BETTERBANKS.J BASE.JS SUND ON THE SEVENTH DAY YoU REALLY WANT To REST, BUT YOU NEED TO ORGANISE ALL You'vE CREATE OGGL.COM

Content A random user posting code snippets on Stack Overflow Do you trust me? Me learning a new language With every cell of my body.

Oh. My. GOD. The FANTASY of a bug-free existence! 😭 Imagine sleeping peacefully in a field instead of staying up until 4AM frantically Googling "why is my code possessed by demons?" The sheer AUDACITY of this meme suggesting we could actually REST if our code worked the first time! Sweetie, I haven't known peace since I wrote my first "Hello World" program. My relationship status? "It's complicated" with Stack Overflow and "desperately dependent" on console.log(). In this alternate universe without bugs, I'd probably remember what sunlight feels like instead of the harsh blue glow of my IDE highlighting 47 syntax errors!

GASP! The sacred campfire tale that sends shivers down the spines of Gen Alpha developers! 😱 A mythical creature who can actually code WITHOUT asking ChatGPT for help?! The horror! The absolute SCANDAL! The juniors sit there, mouths agape, clutching their mechanical keyboards in terror as the senior dev spins this utterly PREPOSTEROUS yarn about ancient coders who used—I can barely type this—DOCUMENTATION and their OWN BRAINS to solve problems! Next thing you know, they'll be claiming these legendary beings didn't need Stack Overflow either! Pure fantasy! Everyone knows real programming is just asking AI to fix your semicolons! 💅

Oh. My. GOD. The AUDACITY of this regex wizard! 🧙‍♂️ Writing regex without Googling is basically the programming equivalent of performing open-heart surgery blindfolded while riding a unicycle across Niagara Falls! Even the prison guard is SHOOK to his core! This isn't just a 10X engineer—this is a PSYCHOPATH with supernatural powers who probably also remembers all their passwords and doesn't cry when merging conflicts. The rest of us mortals are over here frantically copy-pasting from Stack Overflow like it's oxygen, and this mad genius is out here FREESTYLE REGEX-ING?! I need to lie down.

When your gaming mouse has more holes than your production code has unit tests. That awkward moment when you realize your $150 "ultra-lightweight" mouse is just a regular mouse with strategic perforations, but somehow it makes you feel like you'll finally escape Silver rank. Meanwhile, your codebase is held together by Stack Overflow answers and prayers.