Past Me vs. Present Me: The Epic Showdown

Content The Proud Parent The Linker REPENT TOMER - Half your manager, half your senior - Designed the codebase - Will always answer your question, but only after a 5 minute on the motivations of a now rebuilt module from years ago - "I remember when we had to do that process in the AWS console with just a trackpad, uphill both ways" - Tough during code review, but genuinely happy to see you ship new features to the system The Job Security Maximizer - Always sends you a link when you ask a question, sometimes without any other words - "Look at this" - Thinks you don't know standard documentation exists - Posts medium articles in the main channel, doesn't read them - Never reviews code - First stack overflow result The Big Chiller - "Ohh, that? Sorry I totally forgot all - Been around for years, knows the entire about the code I wrote a month ago" codebase - Tells you to ask someone else for the - Friends with the CTO simplest question - Shows you the exact line of code that - Has dozens of pages of private notes, causes your bug within 5 minutes READMEs all read "initial commit" - They last shipped a commit a couple - "Have you thought about adding an months ago, you think abstracter to this abstraction? With that - Always approves your PRs we can decouple the coupler from the universe" 10 i0

Content StackOverflow started in 2008 Programmers before 2008

Content How almost every Stack Overflow question looks to me How do I do this thing? 43 I'm not aware of how to use Google, how do I do this basic thing in Language X? coding question share improve this question edited Apr 2 '12 at 8:13 Grammar Nazi 2.5M 739 70 asked Feb 1 '10 at 16:27 133720 210306 5 Answers active oldest votes Lazy but functional answer with no extensibility 12 share improve this answer answered Feb 1'10 at 16:30 (BE 11280 CodE 25 That's perfect! I'm never checking back here again! - 1337z0r Feb 1'10 at 16:42 A lot of people think you should do it in a lazy way, however in the long run it will help you if you read this well eloquent wall of text that acutely describes problems you will inevitably face but not take the time to 248 read about here: enjoy these code samples and lustrations I puled from thin air anyway! share improve this answer answered Feb 1 '10 at 16:30 A WTF look at my points 34M 400 150 60 18 The official way to do this is link. share improve this answer answered Feb 1 '10 at 16:29 Professional Coder 5.241 224 63 Uh.. No thanks, this is too hard. Can you give me an example of how my code should look when complete? - 1337z0 Feb 1 '10 at 16:41

Content My nan passed out. How do i do CPR on her? stackoverflow That countertop doesn't look very secure. You should change the colour to make it more secure stackoverflow I'll fix that later, but now all i wan't You need to do the flux coil capacitol to know is how to do CPR. algorithm and change the viscosity Sorry I'm new to CPR. Could you elaborate on that a bit with simpler terms please? stackoverflow That makes sense. You're demonstrating a lack of understanding in the field. stackoverflow Also this post is a duplicate of this Question here This post doesn't answer my question though, and is too old. stackoverflow Your post has been deleted for not being relevant to this community.

The hill I'll die on: self-proclaimed "vibe coders" who just copy-paste from Stack Overflow without understanding the fundamentals are the tech equivalent of people who put "school of hard knocks" on their LinkedIn. These are the same folks who call a function 27 times in a loop because they don't know what a parameter is, then wonder why their app crashes when more than three users log in simultaneously. Sure, anyone can make blinking LEDs with ChatGPT nowadays, but when your production server catches fire at 2AM, no amount of ~aesthetic~ VS Code themes will save you.

Content Stack overflow is like when you were in class and vou'd ask the teacher "can I go to the bathroom?" And instead of letting you they'd just say "can you?" And make you say "may " Except after you say "May I?" the teacher is like sorry, someone already asked five years ago And the bathrooms aren't even in the same fucking building as back then And some other teacher is like "Do you really have to go the bathroom or do you just think that'll solve your problem?" and sends you down a self reflective rabbit hole until you give up and piss yourself ProdrammerHumor.io