I Don't Want To Learn Rust

Oh. My. GOD! It's the unholy matrimony of Rust and C++ - the programming equivalent of putting a seatbelt on a motorcycle! This adorable blue crab with X's for claws is what happens when Rust's memory safety obsession meets C++'s chaotic freedom. It's like watching your super responsible friend marry their wild party animal ex - DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN! The poor thing probably can't even compile without having an existential crisis. "Am I safe? Am I fast? WHO AM I ANYMORE?!"

In Rust, semicolons aren't just punctuation—they're existential decisions. The language is notorious for treating expressions without semicolons as return values, while statements with semicolons return nothing. So that "missing semicolon" isn't missing at all—it's an "excess" one that turned your perfectly functional code into a void of nothingness. Four hours of debugging later, you realize you've been therapy-couch worthy all along.

The ultimate programming double entendre! A building with a "STOP RUST" sign that was clearly meant for metal corrosion, but has become an unintentional declaration of war against the Rust programming language. Somewhere a C++ developer is nodding vigorously while hanging this poster in their cubicle. Meanwhile, Rust developers are organizing a protest outside this building with signs that read "MEMORY LEAKS KILL" and "SEGMENTATION FAULT: CORE DUMPED." The programming language holy wars have officially spilled into real estate.

Ah, the GitHub language breakdown for side projects – where BASIC somehow makes up 11.1% of your codebase despite not touching it since 1997. Let's not forget the 9% Beef (a real language, but probably just your angry comments), 6.5% Rust because you watched that one YouTube tutorial, whatever "मादरचोद" is (probably what you shouted at 3 AM when nothing compiled), C89 from that algorithm you copy-pasted, and Albanian because... why not? The remaining 56.3% is just unclassified Stack Overflow snippets you're hoping nobody notices. Side projects: where programming languages go to either die or reproduce uncontrollably.

Someone's bootleg tech sticker collection is giving me serious eye twitches! That "JavaScript" logo with Java's coffee cup, PHP looking like it survived a blender accident, and don't get me started on that dollar-store version of Rust with its random green letter. The GitHub cat appears to have been replaced by a fox having an identity crisis, while VSCode's logo seems to have been drawn from memory after three energy drinks. And what's with that terrified blue gopher creature at the bottom? Is that supposed to be Go after it saw this abomination of logos? Whoever created this clearly learned design from the same tutorial that teaches people to center divs using 47 nested tables.

BEHOLD! The TypeScript mascot being STRANGLED by someone wearing a Rust bracelet! The AUDACITY! The DRAMA! This is basically the software equivalent of Game of Thrones, but with programming languages instead of noble houses! The Rust evangelists have gone TOO FAR this time - not content with telling everyone their memory-safe paradise is superior, they're now physically assaulting poor TypeScript! Next they'll be telling us that "undefined is not a function" wouldn't happen if we just rewrote everything in Rust! THE HORROR!