When Syntax Ruins Your Romantic Gesture

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Content rProgrammerHumor 1,111,111 HTML Programmers 3,770 Slacking Off at Work Dedicat programming. Tech or and jokes relating to programmers and I can't believe there are only 127 of US JOINED

The tiniest blue sliver in this pie chart is what actual programmer humor looks like. The massive orange chunk? That's just an endless loop of "Java bad, Python slow, JavaScript bad, senior developer is god" posts. It's basically r/programmerhumor in a nutshell—where original jokes go to die and recycled language wars thrive. The irony is that the people making these memes probably just finished their first "Hello World" tutorial and suddenly think they're qualified to roast entire programming languages. Next week they'll discover arrays and make a meme about how they start at 0.

Content Other Programmers Python Programmer - You should switch to Python bro. fo

Content When even the Physics Nobel Committee jumped onto the AlML trend, yet you are content without using any Al tools for your daily Software Dev work:

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (I) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those