The Two Emotional States Of Programming

Content - Don't mess with me. My boyfriend is a Programmer, he'll hack your world into oblivion. - The boyfriend: www.google.comsearch?eio2F5X4v Google O how to declare variables in html ALL VIDEOS IMAGES NEWS MAPS procrommer meme

Content Obiective-C D BE 00 Java Swift HTML 5 Top Programming Languages Elon Musk Is Fond of and Why Analytics Insight 1d

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Ah yes, the generational divide in heroism. Grandpa's out there in actual trenches with tanks, while we're fighting the good fight with print("Hello World") . Nothing says "saving humanity" quite like your first program that displays text on a screen. The bar has dropped so low you could trip over it, but hey – at least our debugging injuries are limited to carpal tunnel and eyestrain. War... war has changed. Now it's just us vs. syntax errors at 3 AM, heroically fueled by energy drinks and stackoverflow answers from 2011.

Content When you complete an online course on machine learning and realise it won't be enough for you to get a job in the field You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words

The eternal language war in one image! Python's like that chill friend who's all "No worries about those exceptions, bro! Just wrap it in some parentheses and we're good!" Meanwhile, Java's sitting there with its strict typing and explicit exception handling like "Are you KIDDING ME right now?!" This is basically the programming equivalent of asking someone how they're doing - Python says "it's fine" when the house is literally on fire, while Java's having a complete existential breakdown over a missing semicolon. The duality of developer life in one perfect meme.