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Content When you read some incredibly bad code, thinking "What moron wrote this.", but halfway through it starts to become familiar. - Well, of course I know him. Heis me.

Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Coq: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft ProcrammerHumor

Content My HTML Elements Distribution a 3.2 h1) 2.1 section 1.7 h2 1.4 input 1.4 , code 1.3 other 2.1 span 4.5 p 6.0 button 10.1 img 10.9 div 55.4

Content PEOPLE ACTING LIKE DEVELOPERS WHaT? DId YOU BUY A SCREWDRIVER INSTEAD OF BUILDING YOUR OWN FROM SCRATCH? 132.00 Y VINCENTONL

Content Student run startups I'm an entrepreneur and I handle the business side. Want to join my startup? We need top of the line programmers. We can't compensate you but can give you shares of the company "The company uses blockchain to decentralize big data so machine learning programs can use cyptos to create a gig economy for diversity and social justice. We're basically the Uber of venture capital"

The classic developer-client relationship in its natural habitat! Person A desperately asks "how can we fix this?" about some UI issue. Person B, clearly the developer, responds with a technical solution about rotating text 90 degrees vertical. Then comes the inevitable "Can you show that cell of code?" request because clients never trust that something might actually be complicated. And what happens? The developer goes silent, fires up Jupyter notebook on localhost, and dives into their actual interesting work instead. Nothing says "I'm done with this conversation" like sharing a localhost URL that nobody else can possibly access. Pure passive-aggressive developer poetry.