Not Hiring

Content GOT THEDRACON! HOW TO KILL THE DRAGON BY O toggl USING 9 PROGRAMMING Goon SquAD LANGUAGES YOU HAVE PYTHON EVERYBODY MARVELS AT YOUR AWESOME DRAGON SLAYING TOOLS. YOU DISCOVER YOUR TOOLS ARE ONLY FOR SLAYING A SNAKE YOU HAVE SWIFT YOU'VE GOT AN NSDRAGON JUST AS YOU'RE ALMOST CLASS, BUT YOU NEED TO DONE, APPLE RELEASES WRITE AN 500 LOC EXTENSION AnoTheR DraGOn TO IMPLEMENT SLAYABILITY You Have CSS HTML YOU TRY TO COVER THE DRAGON WITH A HIGHLY FLAMMABLE BLANKET NOW EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE (ALSO, THE VERTIC CENTER HAS FAILED) YOU HAVE SCALA YOUR HORSE HAS CRASHED : YoU HAVE C YOU SET ALL REfEREnCES TO BUT WITH NON-DETERMINISTIC THE DRAGON TO NULL. GARBAGE COLLECTION, CAN YOU EvER BE SURE THE DRAGON THE DRAGON SEEMS GONE. IS rEALLY GonE? YOU HAVE COBOL YOU GO FROM VILLAGE TO VILLAGE FIGHTING THE SAmE DRAGON OVER AND OVER YOU MAKE A FORTUNE IN THE PROCESS YOU HAVE LUA IT'S AN INCREDIBLY FAST AND EFFECTIVE WEAPON ...BUT YOU'RE OUT OF AMMO MIKE PALL HAS THE LAST BULLETS, BUT HE's Gone YoU DON'T KNOW HIS REAL NAME OR EVEN WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE HASKELL AnD A MoNAD You implement a MONAD TO ENCAPSULATE THE DRAGON KILLING SIDE -EFFECTS THE VILLAGERS ARE CONCERNED URGE YOU TO STOP BUT You SAY IT'S OK CAUSE A MONAD IS JUST A MONOID IN THE CATEGORY OF NCTORS SO YOU DON T SEE WHA YOU NEED HELP YoU HAVe COFFEESCRIPT YOU DON'T HAVE DRAGON SLAYING POWERS SO YOU DRINK IT TO GET GOOD YOU DIED MART VIRKUS'17 TOGGL.COM

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Content Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble" "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew . Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half- caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht l'm keeping those

Content WHEN YOU APPROVE SOMEONE ELSE'S CODE REVIEW THAT ENDS UP BREAKING THE PIPELINE AFTER GETTING MERGED IN. (chuckles) I'm in danger.

[text] When have to open task manager to Kill task manager

Content 17:06 I started to develop a website with HTML, and this is very good Do you want to see? Yes, send me the link. http:localhostindex.html 17:28 Your website looks like mine.