what it feels like to be a software engineer accepting friend requests from recruiters on linkedin

The programmer in this meme is living in a parallel universe where Microsoft created Java, not C#. It's like claiming your first car was a unicorn, then your second was a horse, and somehow that qualified you to work at a zebra ranch. For those keeping score at home: Java was created by Sun Microsystems (later acquired by Oracle), Android uses a Java variant, and Microsoft's C# was actually created after Java as a competitor. This person's programming timeline is as accurate as a sundial at midnight.

Content MAKING BABIES NATURE: A woman produces a baby in 9 months PROJECT MANAGEMENT: 9 women can make a baby in a month LEAN: We concentrate on conception and birth and eliminate the waiting in the middle SCRUM: We take the baby out every 2 weeks to show the parents and ask if this is what they want and then plan the next 2 weeks growth with any changes needed AGILE: At any time we can change the baby's nationality or sex, or even decide that we now want a pair of socks instead. KANBAN: We make small baby parts one by one until we have a whole baby Author: Steve Peacocke

Content They call me 007 MEMECHAT APP dankvader31 Via MemeChat O- Coding skills O- Communication skills 7-Udemy Coursera Certificates

Content STD VECTOR CIt UNPROTECTED SEX

The eternal developer's dilemma: finish too fast and you've just proven management's timeline was complete fiction, or sit on it and enjoy six months of "working hard" while secretly playing Elden Ring at your desk. Veterans know the correct answer: release it at 95% completion in exactly half the estimated time, then spend the remaining months "fixing critical bugs" that mysteriously appear right before each status meeting. The real skill isn't coding—it's managing expectations so you don't get rewarded with twice the work for being efficient.

Content STOP WRITING C MEMORY WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE ACCESSED DIRECTLY YEARS OF PROGRAMMING yet STILL CODE IS STILL WRITTEN with memory vulnerabilites Wanted to access memory directly anyway? We had a tool for that: It was called "SSEMBLY" "Yes please give me NULL of something. Please give me of it" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly deranged LOOK at what C Programmers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all of the computers we built for them (These are REAL programs, written by REAL C Programmers): stevenelilith -1 s sudo V sudo; password for steven: D ???? 72227722922? ??????? They have played us for absolute fools