what it feels like to be a software engineer accepting friend requests from recruiters on linkedin

Content MONSTIKA I'M AFRAID YOUR PROGNOSIS IS NOT GOOD IT'S TERMINAL

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this developer flexing their programming superiority with custom license plates! "NLLPTR" and "XCPTN" - aka "null pointer" and "exception" - the twin horsemen of the coding apocalypse! 💀 This is like tattooing your two worst nightmares on your forehead and then DRIVING AROUND with them! Imagine being so traumatized by debugging that you spend actual MONEY to immortalize your pain on your car. Peak programmer masochism right here!

Content Me getting out of bed at 10:05 to start working at 10:15

Content ME CREATING A UNIQUE TARGETED RESUME FOR MY DREAM ROLE 1000S OF APPLICANTS DOING THE SAME THING

Content Function Integer variable String

Ah, the evolution of databases in one SQL statement. This dev is basically saying "forget all those fancy PostgreSQL data types – just give me an ID and a JSON blob and I'll figure out the rest." It's the database equivalent of saying "I don't need a fancy toolbox, just give me duct tape and WD-40." What's hilarious is this is literally how MongoDB was born – "schemas are too restrictive, just throw everything in a document!" Now we've come full circle with PostgreSQL's JSONB type, letting relational database purists secretly use NoSQL patterns while still feeling superior. It's like wearing a MongoDB t-shirt under your Oracle business suit.