The Immortal Tech Survivors

Content another bullshit meeting me who just wants to code

Content You encounter an old wizard. He grants you to wish for a single programming language, which you will learn on a professional level, on the spot, in an instant. Which one do you choose?

Content Claire AzureDoo Husband and I reminiscing about the time I texted him on my way home: "Can you start cooking those sausages?" Then added 3 as a cute little heart. He cooked 2 sausages.

Nobody wants to write clean, efficient code when they can reinvent the wheel with a monstrosity that'll make future maintainers contemplate a career change. Why solve a problem with 5 lines when you can create a bespoke nightmare that requires its own documentation series? The best part is watching junior devs try to understand your "genius" six months later while you're conveniently on vacation.

Content lease don't

The remote work dream vs. reality pipeline is basically a glorified downward spiral into chaos. You start with visions of perfect work-life balance—coding in your pajamas while sipping artisanal coffee. Fast forward three sprints later, and you're debugging production issues at 3 AM while eating cold beans straight from the can. The cat in this image is the perfect metaphor for our code after six months of "temporary workarounds"—disheveled, barely functional, but somehow still getting the job done. That "itchy" part hits different when you realize you haven't changed your sweatpants since the last stand-up meeting... three days ago. Fun fact: Studies show remote developers create 37% more git branches named things like "final_fix_v3_ACTUALLY_WORKS" than office-based counterparts.