The Highest Honor I Can Bestow

The five stages of grief hit differently when reviewing your own code from yesterday. First comes the nervous finger-biting, then the slow realization, followed by the blank stare of disbelief, then the "oh god what have I done" face-palm, and finally the existential horror of knowing you have to fix whatever abomination you unleashed. The worst part? You were probably so proud of that "clever" solution when you wrote it. Ten hours and three coffees later, and suddenly you're archaeologist of your own terrible decisions.

That critical bug you ignored at 4:59 PM Friday haunts your entire weekend like Kermit staring through rainy windows. You're fishing, relaxing, or just existing—but your brain won't stop replaying that stack trace. Meanwhile, production is probably on fire, and your phone remains suspiciously quiet... until Sunday night when your boss finally discovers what you've known all along. Next time, just stay an extra 20 minutes and fix the damn thing. Your future self will thank you.

OH. MY. GOD. The junior just pushed a commit that's basically a NUCLEAR APOCALYPSE of code! 💀 +14,254 lines added in glorious green, -13,967 lines deleted in terrifying red. This isn't a commit, it's a COMPLETE REWRITE OF THE UNIVERSE! Senior devs are probably having collective heart attacks right now while frantically reaching for their blood pressure medication. The code review meeting is going to need trauma counselors on standby. What happened here? Did they accidentally paste the entire internet into our codebase? Did they decide to solve every bug by just... deleting everything and starting over? The git history will never emotionally recover from this tragedy!

When it comes to typing tests, developers have their priorities straight! Rejecting a careful 30 WPM with near-perfect accuracy in favor of blazing through at 100 WPM while making errors in almost half your keystrokes is the quintessential programmer mindset. Why? Because we can always refactor later! It's like shipping to production with known bugs because the sprint deadline is more important than functionality. Who needs accuracy when you've got SPEED ? Just slam that keyboard like you're rage-quitting vim and let autocomplete sort out the mess!

Content WHEN YOU NEED TO TEST IE IT'S THAT ONE LINE THAT'S CAUSING THE BUG

Content I'm a big fan of 86 Oh really? Name 30 different instructions mov That's on me, I set the bar too low.