The Developer Attention Spectrum

Content PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS ALMOST NO STANDARD LIBRARY SOLUTION: THOUSANDS OF COMMUNITY -SUPPORTED LIBRARIES OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS NO PACKAGING OR A LINKER TO TIE THESE PACKAGES TOGETHER PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT WON'T RUN OUTSIDE THE BROWSER SOLUTION: V8 PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS SINGLE -THREAD BY DESIGN SOLUTION: ASYNCHRONOUS PROGRAMMING, NODE. JS PROBLEM: CALLBACK HELL PROBLEM: PROTOTYPAL INHERITANCE IS PANTS -ON- HEAD STUPID THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID IT. PROBLEM: WEB RESOURCES NEED TO BE MINIFIED AND ZIPPED FOR PERFORMANCE PROBLEM: THE DOM IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: CANVAS PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: USE AN ASSEMBLY- LIKE SUBSET OF JAVASCRIPT CALLED ASM.JS PROBLEM: ASM.JS IS BASICALLY UNWRITABLE 4 HUMANS. SOLUTION: COMPILE A BETTER LANGUAGE TO JAVASCRIPT (C, EMASCRIPT 2016, COFFEESCRIPT, JSX) SOLUTION: HUNDREDS OF COMMUNITY SUPPORTED BUILD TOOLS OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: GRUNT. SOLUTION: GULP PROBLEM: GULP PROBLEM: MACHINE GENERATED OUTPUT IS MORE DIFFICULT TO DEBUG PROBLEM: ASYNC IS STILL A NIGHTMARE, HUH? PROBLEM: BALLOONING PROJECT SIZE AND COMPLEXITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT STILL DOESN'T DO EVERYTHING PROBLEM: OUTPUT RUNS VERY SLOWLY ON MOBILE DEVICES SOLUTION: ELECTRON, PHONEGAP, FIREFOXOS HOW IS DIGGING GOING TO GET US OUT OF THIS HOLE? WHERE I AM FROM, THE POINT OF DIGGING IS NOT FREEDOM FROM DIGGING

[text] OH SO YOU KNOW G O

OMG, the IT department just went FULL HORROR MOVIE on us! 😱 They've transformed their door into Pennywise's lair, threatening eternal damnation if you don't submit a ticket! The audacity! As if the red balloon wasn't terrifying enough, they're basically saying "bypass our sacred ticketing system and you'll join the other bodies floating in the server room." Honestly, this is the most passive-aggressive tech support threat I've ever seen. Next time your computer crashes, remember - no ticket, no mercy, just eternal floating with the other rule-breakers who dared to ask for help in person!

Content TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO ONE HAS GONE BEFORE NCC 1701-A

Content My code: works well in local, dev,stage Me: deploys code to prod My code: well now I am not doing it

Content Finding an academic paper on the algorithm you want to implement Dirac-Chebyshev Degulsion with Tripolsive 'Tail Canceling and other shit that's over your head