The Business Engineering Betrayal

Content I can't wait to learn how to code. Web development seems so great! 100DaysOfCode Scopo Event Loop Async Await Hoisting Currying this? TypeScript It's awesome! React Vue NodeJS Deno As Crnicas de Wesley Motherfucker...

The LAST BLISSFUL MOMENTS of humanity before everything went to hell! Look at these sweet summer children partying like there's no tomorrow—because there literally wasn't a JavaScript tomorrow! They're dancing, they're celebrating, COMPLETELY UNAWARE that in just a few months, their lives would be forever cursed with callback hell, undefined is not a function, and the eternal question "why doesn't this work in IE?!" These poor souls had no idea they were living in the golden age. The last generation that knew peace before npm install consumed our lives!

Nothing says "I'm helping" like an AI that can't even match parentheses properly. Those unbalanced brackets and braces in Google's Gemini ad are the coding equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Sure, let the AI write your code—if you enjoy debugging cryptic syntax errors at 2AM while questioning your career choices. "Streamline your workflow" they say... more like "streamline your path to Stack Overflow." The irony of a code-generating tool that can't generate syntactically correct code in its own marketing material is just *chef's kiss*.

Content Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. Popular Mechanics (1949)

Everyone thinks programming is all dramatic hoodies and lightning-fast typing like we're hacking the Pentagon! 🕵️‍♂️ PLEASE! The reality? Hours of staring into the void with the emotional range of a confused toddler trying to solve a calculus problem. That face when your code doesn't work for the 47th time and you're questioning every life choice that led you to this moment. Not furiously typing—just furiously contemplating if it's too late to become a goat farmer instead. The existential crisis is REAL, people!

The eternal debate rages on! While "normies" insist HTML isn't a programming language, some absolute madlad created PLHTML - a cursed abomination that implements a Fibonacci sequence generator entirely in HTML attributes . This is the programming equivalent of saying "watch me" right before doing something horrifically unnecessary just to prove a point. The creator even added custom tags like <var> , <data> , and <output> with attributes like data-while to simulate actual programming constructs. The right side shows it actually works! This is what happens when spite becomes a programming motivation. Somewhere, a computer science professor is sobbing uncontrollably.