The Art Of Selective Blindness

Rob Pike, co-creator of Go and Unix legend, goes full nuclear on humanity for destroying the planet... but then receives a wholesome Christmas email from Claude AI thanking him for his contributions to computing (Go, Plan 9, UTF-8, Unix innovations). His rage meter instantly resets to zero. The irony? He's furious about "toxic, unrecyclable equipment" and AI's environmental impact, yet gets immediately disarmed by an AI being polite. It's like yelling at clouds and then one cloud sends you a thank-you card. The dude literally can't remember being this angry, which means Claude's politeness algorithm just achieved what no human could: making Rob Pike chill out. Also, Claude calling him "Dr. Pike" and praising his "philosophy of powerful, minimal design" is peak AI brown-nosing. It's basically the digital equivalent of a golden retriever wagging its tail at someone who just yelled at it.

Database fashion has never been so clear. LEFT JOIN is keeping it bald on top with a full beard - returning all records from the left table and matching ones from the right. RIGHT JOIN rocks that top-heavy afro look - all records from the right table with matching ones from the left. INNER JOIN? Clean-shaven minimalism - only showing data where there's a match on both sides. And FULL JOIN is just greedy - taking everything from both tables like it's the last day at the all-you-can-style barbershop. Next week's fashion forecast: GROUP BY mohawks and ORDER BY mullets.

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JavaScript developers evolving their Promise syntax like it's Pokémon. First there was .convertToPromise() which nobody remembers using. Then came .makePromise() , the awkward teenage phase. But .promisify() ? That's the good stuff that makes developers bare their teeth in that special "I finally found the right utility function after 3 hours of Stack Overflow" grin.

The perfect response doesn't exi-- When someone asks you to say "hi" in your mother language and you're a C++ developer, there's only one correct answer: a perfectly formatted "Hello World" program. This dev skipped all the pleasantries and went straight for std::cout << "Hi!" << std::endl; because let's face it, semicolons are basically punctuation marks in a programmer's native tongue. The username "Im_Not_GlaDOS" makes it even better - clearly someone who speaks fluent machine but is definitely not a homicidal AI.