Tales of a Programmer

The ultimate recursive nightmare: adding .gitignore to your .gitignore file. It's like telling your version control "please ignore my instructions to ignore things." Then wondering why your repo is either tracking everything or nothing at all. The digital equivalent of putting a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your "Do Not Disturb" sign.

The ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of a programmer's social life!!! Your brain literally stores people's names like Vim keybindings that you can't remember when needed. "Oh, I know this person's name... let me just... *frantically searches mental database*... ERROR 404: NAME NOT FOUND." Then you desperately try to escape the conversation with some made-up Vim command because your social battery just CRASHED harder than a production server during a demo. The ":wq to exit conversation" part is just *chef's kiss* - the universal cry for help when human interaction exceeds RAM capacity!

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The classic "glass half full/empty" philosophy gets the Stack Overflow treatment. While optimists see potential and pessimists focus on what's missing, Stack Overflow users just mark the entire glass as deprecated. That special feeling when your question gets closed because "drinking water is no longer supported" and you're redirected to "Why is water wet?" which was answered in 2011 by someone who no longer exists.

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