Programmers In The Future

Oh. My. GOD! It's the eternal holy war of programming paradigms playing out in stick figure drama! 😱 Our brave little functional programming zealot stands on their soapbox proclaiming "JAVA SUCKS" to a crowd that seems mildly interested. Bold move! But then comes the plot twist that sends the pitchfork-wielding mob into absolute RAGE - "BECAUSE OOP SUCKS." Honey, that's like walking into a Taylor Swift concert and screaming "MUSIC IS TERRIBLE!" The audacity! The drama! The pure, unadulterated functional programming superiority complex on display! 💅 Meanwhile, functional programmers are somewhere sipping tea and mumbling about pure functions and immutability while the OOP crowd collectively loses their inheritance-loving minds.

The AUDACITY of the debugging hierarchy! 🧠✨ First level: Asking your friend to help debug - basic brain activity, nothing special, YAWN. Second level: Posting on StackOverflow - your brain is LITERALLY GLOWING with enlightenment as you prepare to be judged by the coding gods! But the FINAL BOSS LEVEL? Tweeting directly at the creator of JavaScript about your trivial HTML linking problem?! COSMIC BRAIN EXPLOSION! 💥 And Brendan Eich's response? "Show the html please." Not even a question mark. The sheer restraint! The man who invented an entire language just asked to see your code with the enthusiasm of someone ordering plain toast.

Content 65 21:34 askreddit SUGGESTED O What is the most disturbing fact you know? NSFW OldManoftheNorth 14 hours ago askreddit 91 upvoted 1058 points 1264 comments phobug 288 points 3 hours ago 3 billion devices run java. 4

The classic PM-to-developer exchange: "Hey, we need this feature done asap, can you work over the weekend?" followed by the developer's response—a person in Windows 95 merch giving a thumbs up that screams "absolutely not" in every possible way. Nothing says "your poor planning isn't my emergency" quite like a passive-aggressive thumbs up from someone who's already mentally logged off until Monday. The ancient art of appearing supportive while silently updating your resume.

Content when they ask you to optimize code and vou start indenting with tabs instead of spaces to reduce file size taint much, but it's honestwork.

Content Genie: You can wish for anything but infinite wishes Wish 1: I wish that Wish 2 happens after wish 3 Wish 2: I wish to be free Wish 3: I wish to be a genie Genie: