Please Don't Touch

Content OITinsider April 28, 2017 RIP Perceval the server Perceval passed away peacefully in his sleep last week at the age of 21. Perceval began ite as an is Rise server runnino AX. early on. it was ciscovered he hao a genety precis poston to compute odies usle two own years. Me was dole to overcome this in the fall of 1888 by transitioning to sun hardware. He spent the rest of his life running on various flavors of Sun Oracle haraware He wed his fina vears as a Virual chine runnino on a SPARC-Enterorise-T5120. Perceyal chose to run the unidata database. He had other suitors through the years, but stayed true to unidata to the end. Perceva aonereo to lebe standaros and was POSiX como ant. Perceval was most oroud of his time spent hosting the Personal Lookuo Seryice called PLUS. PLUS allowed students access to their records and registration in the early days of the world vide web. Los evowed from a meny based system caled CULINE CULINE was based on gopher, a technology that was a predecessor of the World Wide Perceva worked tireless y benino the scenes ozoino data from central Computino into various enterprise systems and campus departmental systems. The Enterprise Directory. and the elecom anagement System are a few of these systems Perceval is surred ov his oper bercilak and onotime remote host cutranster. He was preceded in death oy mis rack males gullevere, lancell, oawain, obolvere, calando tristan, pendragon and roundtable Perceval lived a long fulfilling life, but in the end lost his battle against relational alabases, linux ano clove computine A private ceremony was held at the OlT Data Center. In accordance with percevals vishes. interment will be performed at the boulder county center for hard to recycle nationals Perceval always appreciated the support given him by all the developers and sysadms over the vears. In hey of flowers olease make donations to the bolrado mutivalve Users Grovo GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

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Ah, the mythical "3" in software – where dreams go to die. Just like gamers waiting for Half-Life 3 or Battlefront 3, programmers know the pain of Python 3 migration hell, IPv6 adoption (because we skipped IPv5), and that one legacy codebase that will never reach version 3.0. The utopian future shown here is basically what happens when a developer finally fixes that one bug that's been in the backlog for 7 years. Pure fantasy. Meanwhile, we're all still using workarounds from Stack Overflow posts from 2011.

Content out of bugfixes LEGOLAS! HOW MANY BUGFIXES DID YOU MAKE ELEVEN! ELEVEN? THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF BUGS OUT THERE! ProarammerHumor.io AND I FIXED ELEVEN OF THEM, YOU'RE WELCOME!

The evolution of "idea people" is too real! Back in the day, non-technical folks with "million dollar ideas" would beg programmers to build their app for free or equity. Now these same people skip straight to AI tools like Figma and no-code platforms, thinking they're self-sufficient until they hit that inevitable technical landmine. Meanwhile, the programmer continues peacefully napping, completely unbothered by the explosion. The sweet karma of technical debt will always find you!

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