PhD In Theory, Intern In Practice

The classic management time warp. Six months ago: "Epic UI design guys, love it!" Two days before deadline: "Wtf is this garbage UI?" Same design. Same manager. Different proximity to deadline. You could build the Sistine Chapel of interfaces and it'll still be "garbage" when the sprint's ending. Ten years in the industry and I've yet to see a manager who remembers approving anything.

The expectation vs. reality gap in programming is brutal! Non-programmers imagine us as mysterious hackers typing at lightning speed, fingers dancing across keyboards like we're hacking the Pentagon. Meanwhile, the actual programming experience is just staring blankly at the screen for hours, questioning every life decision that led to this bug. That intense "calculating the meaning of existence" face isn't deep thinking—it's us wondering if we should've become baristas instead after spending 4 hours debugging a missing semicolon.

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Parental controls flagging PHP learning as "forbidden knowledge" is the most unintentionally accurate thing ever. Good parenting right there - protecting innocent children from the psychological trauma of learning PHP. Next thing you know they'll be searching for "how to center a div" and we'll have to stage an intervention. The real restricted content warning should be "This language might make you question your career choices."

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