Peer Programming At Its Finest

Content I really like your resume. What are your salary expectations? Plan Monthly cost Hours per week Lines of code per week Poop breaks Compiling available Deploying available Can be on camera once per month Basic Standard Premium 4000 8000 40 40 400 600 3 2 16000 40 Unlimited Proarammeri loffer a variety of plans to meet your needs. Choose the plan that works best for you. Choose the plan and enhance it with optional add-ons. Sign up foday and choose from several payment options. mildnihilist

The eternal project management cycle: asking developers for two days to write unit tests? Skeptical SpongeBob with raised eyebrow. Hiring expensive consultants to build a test automation framework that'll be abandoned in 3 months? ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED SpongeBob. The same PM who won't allocate time for basic testing will somehow find budget for a six-figure automation solution that nobody on the team knows how to maintain. Then we'll all act surprised when the codebase is still a dumpster fire six months later.

The eternal developer marketing battle in four panels! Left side: "OUR LATEST MODEL" shows a perfectly chiseled Chad CPU flexing its processing muscles. Right side: "OUR COMPETITORS' MODELS" depicts three pathetic alternatives—one literally on fire with smoke coming out, one crying while plugged in, and one having an existential crisis. Every benchmark presentation ever made by hardware companies in a nutshell. "Our processor? Absolute unit. Theirs? Literal garbage that might burn your house down." The selective benchmarking and cherry-picked performance metrics are basically a developer rite of passage at this point. Just don't read the fine print that says "tested under liquid nitrogen in a vacuum chamber on a Tuesday during a solar eclipse."

Content When you struggle to write a simple Minecraft clone Notch was able to build this in a cave. With a Windows Vista

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Content Check out this bad boy 32 GB of RAM, 10 TB hard drive Built in Liquid cooling capabilities AND a 3,000 Graphics Card Wow, what are you gonna use it for? Write HTML