Lol, Me As A Developer

Ah yes, the telltale sign of a Mac user: the mysterious .DS_Store file littering every single directory like breadcrumbs from a particularly annoying operating system. For the uninitiated, macOS drops these hidden files everywhere to store folder view preferences, and they spread to every USB drive, git repo, and shared network folder you touch. It's basically the Mac equivalent of leaving your fingerprints at a crime scene, except the crime is using a Unix system that still can't decide if it wants to be user-friendly or developer-friendly. Nothing says "I develop on a MacBook Pro" quite like accidentally committing .DS_Store to the repo and having your Linux-using coworkers judge you in the PR review.

Content Frontend Dev JSON Backend Dev Fullstack developer

Epic Games executive catching someone manually writing C++ code in 2024 is like finding a cryptid in the wild. You'd think they'd be using Blueprints or at least some visual scripting system, but no—someone went full masochist mode and decided to wrestle with pointers and memory management by hand. The executive's disappointment is palpable, like discovering your senior engineer still uses goto statements unironically. Nothing says "job security through incomprehensibility" quite like raw C++ in a game engine that literally exists to help you avoid writing it.

Content LEGACY CODE IT WORKED FOR ES MILLION YEARS. MO ONE KNOWS HOW. NO ONE KNOWS VIEL.

Content for(i 0; i 5; i) While (92 5) i 1; int while c i i 1; if (i 5) break;

Someone's codebase just jumped from line 6061 to line 19515. That's not a typo, that's a 13,454-line function sitting there like an architectural war crime. When your coworker asks "how long is that function?" and you have to scroll for the next 20 minutes to find the closing bracket, you know someone's been writing code like they're paid by the line. Pretty sure there's a Geneva Convention against functions this long. The debugger autocomplete showing line numbers in the five-digit range is basically a cry for help.