Agile-problems Memes

Companies love saying they want "honest developers" during interviews, but the second you admit there's no animation for swimming in production because nobody had time to implement it, suddenly you're not a "team player." The brutal honesty of telling stakeholders that features literally don't exist yet? That's career suicide dressed up as transparency. You'll just stand there staring at the water, knowing full well you can't dive in because the sprint ended two weeks ago and swimming got pushed to the backlog. Honesty in development means admitting half the features are held together with duct tape and prayers, but HR didn't mention that in the job posting.

You know that feeling when your codebase is running smooth, optimized, and beautiful? Then product management decides it needs "just one more feature" and suddenly you're introducing unnecessary complexity, bloat, and technical debt. The monkey with a stick represents that shiny new feature nobody asked for, aggressively poking at your pristine, battle-tested code that was perfectly content just lying there being efficient. The lion's resigned expression? That's your code after the 47th "quick enhancement" that somehow required refactoring three modules and adding two new dependencies. Sometimes the best feature is no feature at all, but try explaining that in a sprint planning meeting.