Laughing Through The Digital Trauma

Content Computer Scientist Researcher Overworked Dev NOO0000000!!!JUST BECAUSE USERS HAVE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF RAM, DOESN'T haha code goes brr MEAN WE SHOULD FORGET ABOUT IMPROVING THE ASYMPTOTIC TIME COMPLEXITY OF OUR CODE AND INCREASE PROCESSING SPEED. MINIMIZING THE NUMBER OF NESTED LOOPS IN OUR COMPANY'S CODE SHOULD BE PRIORITY! rrr rrr rrr rrr rrr rrr return true

Ah, the four-step career assassination tutorial! Nothing sends a frontend developer into existential crisis faster than watching someone test their "responsive" design by actually... *checks notes*... using different devices. The psychological warfare begins with showing off multiple devices, continues with the developer watching in horror as their beautiful creation morphs into an eldritch abomination across screens, and culminates with the coup de grâce: printing the monstrosity to immortalize their shame. Somewhere, a CSS media query is crying. Somewhere else, a Bootstrap developer is pouring another drink.

Paying for 150 Mb/s but getting 18.75 MB/s? That's not a scam—that's just the classic bits vs bytes switcheroo! ISPs advertise in megabits (Mb) but your downloads show in megabytes (MB). Since 8 bits = 1 byte, your "disappointing" 18.75 MB/s is actually exactly what you're paying for (150 ÷ 8 = 18.75). The real crime is making us do math while we're just trying to download updates for games we never play.

Content Other-people's github pages Whatever the hell I'm doing

Content Kelly Vaughn kvlly: 1 d I'm going to start a support group for people who still need their code to support IE11. You're not alone. 117 17 155 1793

The duality of programming languages in their natural habitat: Java developers live in two states: complete confusion and smug pretentiousness. "What the hell is this code" meets "It's a StrategyManagerFactory" with zero middle ground. The naming conventions alone require a PhD in verbosity. Meanwhile, C++ developers have achieved enlightenment through suffering. Both sides of the brain have united in the brotherhood of bewilderment. The left guy asks what the hell is happening, and the right guy—instead of pretending to understand—simply admits the universal truth of programming: absolutely nobody knows what's going on. The real joke? We're all getting paid to write code nobody understands. Pure genius.