It Compiles Into Money

The bell curve of programming wisdom strikes again! The folks on the far left and right (with their 55 and 145 IQs) have transcended language wars and realized what truly matters: getting that sweet paycheck. Meanwhile, the 100 IQ crowd in the middle is still screaming about why their favorite language is superior, as if their GitHub stars will pay the mortgage.

After a decade in this industry, I've watched countless languages rise and fall while my bank account only cares about one thing: which syntax is currently funding my coffee addiction. The true galaxy brain move isn't mastering Rust or TypeScript—it's mastering whatever abomination your company is willing to pay premium rates for.