I Blame Microservices

Content I GET A NEW MESSAGE ON TEAMS cottorn PATricK StaR RIGHT IcUcE ON THE NOTIFICATION POPU OKAY IREAD THE MESSAGE 00 MHM SO TH NOTIACATION SHOUT DISSAPEAR RIGHT? YOU HAVE JESSAGE lingflip.com

OH THE DRAMA OF IT ALL! 💅 You think you're so clever with your "quick ticket" to IT support, don't you? "Just remote in and click a button!" HONEY, PLEASE! What you don't realize is that behind every support ticket is an IT person who has already broken the system in seventeen different ways while trying to fix the eighteen ways YOU broke it first. We're not wizards, we're just professional chaos managers with caffeine addictions and a concerning familiarity with error messages that don't even exist in documentation. The audacity of end users thinking we'll be embarrassed when things don't work... sweetie, embarrassment left the chat YEARS ago along with our will to explain why "turning it off and on again" actually works!

The government's idea of "e-Filing Anywhere Anytime" apparently means "anywhere you want, anytime except when you actually need to file your taxes." Nothing says modern technology like a website that knocks you unconscious after 15 minutes of inactivity—just like how tax laws put the rest of us to sleep. The poor cartoon guy isn't experiencing a session timeout; he's having the appropriate emotional response to seeing how much he owes in taxes.

Boolean logic has never been so festive! This meme brilliantly visualizes logical operators using Halloween pumpkins in Venn diagrams. OR shows both pumpkins lit up with their overlap, because either condition works. AND only lights the intersection—both conditions must be true. XOR (exclusive OR) lights everything EXCEPT the overlap—you can have one but not both. NOR says "nope to everything" with a completely dark result. NAND is basically "anything but AND" so everything except the intersection is lit. Finally, XNOR (exclusive NOR) is the evil twin of XOR—it only lights up when both conditions are the same. Next Halloween party ice-breaker: "So... are you more of a NAND or XOR person?" Watch as everyone slowly backs away from you.

Ah, the perfect crime! The programmer wrote code so illegible that not even he could explain it to the authorities. The real criminal offense wasn't whatever got him detained—it was his refusal to write comments in his spaghetti code. Bet his teammates already wanted him locked up anyway. The ultimate job security: code so cryptic that firing you would be corporate suicide.

Content My child will not commit any sin git commit -am "any sin"