I Blame Microservices

performance Optimization Efficiency Programmer frustration Clock cycles Slow websites Processing power Multiple choice Education tech Computational waste

Programming Frontend Backend Webdev Algorithms

4 months ago 182,104 views 0 shares

I Blame Microservices

performance-memes, optimization-memes, efficiency-memes, programmer-frustration-memes, clock-cycles-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

THE AUDACITY! Watching an exam website take FOUR WHOLE MINUTES to grade a simple multiple choice test while your programmer brain is screaming that this should take NANOSECONDS! It's like watching paint dry while holding a blow dryer! Those 40 clock cycles could have graded the test, calculated your entire academic future, AND solved world hunger with processing power to spare! Meanwhile, the server is probably just playing Solitaire between each question it grades. The betrayal! The inefficiency! The sheer WASTE of precious milliseconds that you'll never get back! 💀

More Like This

Mercy please!

Programming

3 years ago 43.9K views 0 shares

Mercy please! | code-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content Me: Starting to write a line of code MV IDE: ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT? ProarammerHumor.io

I've been hacked

Programming Databases Frontend Backend

3 years ago 85.3K views 0 shares

I've been hacked | google-memes, data-memes, password-memes, rds-memes, sass-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content Google Some of your saved passwords were found online Change these passwords now Some of your saved passwords were exposed in a non-Google data breach. You should change them now. Learn more This account is at risk http:127.0.0.1:5000 dev Change password X realismis i sleep

The Sacred Unspoken Rules

Programming Devops Git

7 months ago 180.6K views 1 shares

The Sacred Unspoken Rules

Ah, the sacred unspoken rules of society! Don't ask women their age, don't ask men their salary, and for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT ask a developer what their commit messages actually mean. That cryptic "Fixed stuff" covering 47 file changes? The mysterious "It works now" with no explanation? The passive-aggressive "Finally fixed the stupid bug"? These are personal diary entries of pain, triumph, and existential crisis that shall remain forever unexplained. Inquiring about commit messages is like asking someone to explain their browser history. Some things are better left buried in the git log where they belong.

Finally

Programming

3 years ago 48.3K views 0 shares

Finally! | IT-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content FINALLY OURSOL made wenour using one

what's in a name?

Programming

1 year ago 49.2K views 0 shares

what's in a name? | string-memes, class-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content File Edit Tools Syntax Bufters Window Help a includestring includeiostream class Rose public: static std::string smell(void) return "sweet"; 6 09 08 Itypedef Rose OtherName; lint main (void) if (Rose:: smell) OtherName:: smell ()) std:: cout Rose:: smell () std: :endl; return 0; else std::cerr "Not OK" std: :endl; return 1;

Best Practices Are Always Optional

Programming AI Security Devops Git

2 months ago 239.7K views 0 shares

Best Practices Are Always Optional

Behold, the PINNACLE of developer security theater! 🎭 Worried about AI stealing your precious algorithms? Set up a private git server! But then use it to commit your API keys in plain text because APPARENTLY reading documentation about environment variables is TOO MUCH WORK. It's like installing a state-of-the-art security system for your house and then leaving the key under the doormat with a neon sign pointing to it. GENIUS LEVEL SECURITY!