I Blame Microservices

Ah, the classic Windows fullscreen trap. Open a new window, suddenly your entire screen is consumed like a black hole swallowing a star system. Then comes the frantic mouse-to-corner ritual we all perform like ancient tech shamans. And just when you think you've escaped... you realize you just closed an unsaved document that contained the only copy of your 10,000-word thesis. Windows: turning casual computing into extreme sports since 1985.

Ah, the dreaded "uwuntu" - where the serious Linux distro Ubuntu gets kawaii-fied with cat ears and anime eyes. This is what happens when your sysadmin secretly watches too much anime and decides the command line needs more "nyaa~". Somewhere, Linus Torvalds is staring at his monitor with the same expression you have right now. The worst part? Someone definitely spent actual development time creating this abomination instead of fixing those 200 open bugs.

The crushing realization that the web isn't powered by mystical forces but rather by a horrifying patchwork of JavaScript frameworks, browser quirks, and legacy code held together with duct tape and prayers. The transition from "this must be magic" to "dear god, it's all just if-statements in a trench coat" is enough to make anyone shed a single dramatic tear.

Content var fs require("fs") var words fs.readfileSync("words.txt").toString0); words words.split("'n"); Don't ever be afraid that you're not a real programmer because you still look stuff up. var fs require ("fs"); var words fs.readFileSync("words.txt").toString0); words words.split("n"); The important part about programming is not remembering exact words or syntax: var fs require ("fs"); var words fs.readFileSync("words. txt"). toString(); words words.split("n"); it is breaking down a problem, working out how to solve it,

Content Chris Bakke ChrisJBakke Our son was born last month, so like any good dad, I claimed his gmail early. 3 hours after setting it up, our 1-month-old son got an email. Their hiring pace is insane. A16Z crypto analyst role? Inbox x Marc Andreessen marca16z.com to me Hev man - Have heard great things. As one handsome, bald man to another, you have a bright future here https:a16z.comaboutjobs LMK if you want to do coffee sometime. - marc 3:25 p.m. 09 Sep. 21 Twitter Web App

OH. MY. GOD. The existential crisis when you suddenly realize that the print() function wasn't named by some cosmic random coding deity but because it LITERALLY PRINTED STUFF ON ACTUAL PAPER! 🤯 My entire programming life has been a LIE! Those ancient developers sitting there with their teletypewriters, watching their code physically PRINT OUT like some prehistoric fax machine while we're over here thinking we're so clever with our fancy terminals. I can't even process this level of obviousness that somehow escaped my brain for YEARS. Next you'll tell me "mouse" is called that because it RESEMBLES AN ACTUAL RODENT?! I need to lie down.