Git Gud

So Oracle's origin story is literally a CIA project. Nothing suspicious about that at all. Your database vendor was born from intelligence agency funding, which explains so much about their licensing tactics—they've been extracting information and money with the same ruthless efficiency since day one. The CIA was their first customer, which tracks because both organizations specialize in making people uncomfortable and charging obscene amounts for the privilege. At least now we know where Oracle learned their interrogation techniques for license audits.

Content christina zhu cszhu if you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. true happiness comes from closing 100 chrome tabs after solving an obscure programming bug, not from someone else 15:35 21 Feb. 20 Twitter Web App

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Samsung's entire changelog for their app update is literally just "Bub fix" with heart emojis. Not "bug fix" - Bub fix. Someone at Samsung either has the world's most adorable typo or they're fixing some mysterious entity called "Bub" that we mere mortals don't understand. The real comedy gold here is that this passed through their entire development pipeline, QA testing, and release process. Somewhere, a product manager signed off on this. Multiple people saw "Bub fix" and collectively shrugged. Corporate software development at its finest - where the changelog is as broken as the bugs they're supposedly fixing. Nothing screams "we totally know what we're doing" like a typo in a two-word update description. At least they added hearts to soften the blow of their quality assurance process taking a vacation.

Content yeff yephph Follow What does this even mean to me Hello Jeffrey, Unfortunately due to company policy, we are unable to offer positions to people with the name Jeffrey since it will not work with our database schema 1:03 AM - 12 Apr 2020 4,740 Retweets 59,001 Likes

The three stages of developer enthusiasm. First panel: naive optimism. Second panel: the moment you realize they want you to build a spaceship but won't tell you if it needs to fly or just look pretty. Third panel: pure, unfiltered joy because no requirements means no one can tell you you're doing it wrong. You're not building what they want—you're building what they deserve for not writing a single user story.