Funny gate....

Content PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS ALMOST NO STANDARD LIBRARY SOLUTION: THOUSANDS OF COMMUNITY -SUPPORTED LIBRARIES OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT HAS NO PACKAGING OR A LINKER TO TIE THESE PACKAGES TOGETHER PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT WON'T RUN OUTSIDE THE BROWSER SOLUTION: V8 PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS SINGLE -THREAD BY DESIGN SOLUTION: ASYNCHRONOUS PROGRAMMING, NODE. JS PROBLEM: CALLBACK HELL PROBLEM: PROTOTYPAL INHERITANCE IS PANTS -ON- HEAD STUPID THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID IT. PROBLEM: WEB RESOURCES NEED TO BE MINIFIED AND ZIPPED FOR PERFORMANCE PROBLEM: THE DOM IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: CANVAS PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT IS TOO SLOW FOR VIDEO GAMES SOLUTION: USE AN ASSEMBLY- LIKE SUBSET OF JAVASCRIPT CALLED ASM.JS PROBLEM: ASM.JS IS BASICALLY UNWRITABLE 4 HUMANS. SOLUTION: COMPILE A BETTER LANGUAGE TO JAVASCRIPT (C, EMASCRIPT 2016, COFFEESCRIPT, JSX) SOLUTION: HUNDREDS OF COMMUNITY SUPPORTED BUILD TOOLS OF WILDLY VARYING QUALITY PROBLEM: GRUNT. SOLUTION: GULP PROBLEM: GULP PROBLEM: MACHINE GENERATED OUTPUT IS MORE DIFFICULT TO DEBUG PROBLEM: ASYNC IS STILL A NIGHTMARE, HUH? PROBLEM: BALLOONING PROJECT SIZE AND COMPLEXITY PROBLEM: JAVASCRIPT STILL DOESN'T DO EVERYTHING PROBLEM: OUTPUT RUNS VERY SLOWLY ON MOBILE DEVICES SOLUTION: ELECTRON, PHONEGAP, FIREFOXOS HOW IS DIGGING GOING TO GET US OUT OF THIS HOLE? WHERE I AM FROM, THE POINT OF DIGGING IS NOT FREEDOM FROM DIGGING

Content ME UNREAL ENGINE PROGRAMMING TINY 2D GAME

Content Sir, it finally worked! SIR, IT FINALLY WORKED! Scientists Great job? Now we need to figure out how and why Programmers IT'S A Now don't touch it or it (MIRACLE! may never work again

The duality of software engineering in one image. Left panel: existential crisis about career choices while debugging production at 3 AM. Right panel: paycheck hits and suddenly all those merge conflicts and sprint meetings seem totally worth it. The emotional whiplash is real—one moment you're questioning every life decision that led you to stare at a compiler error for 6 hours, the next you're remembering that $6,197 just landed in your account and you're like "yeah, I can tolerate another standup meeting." It's the circle of dev life: suffering, payday, brief happiness, repeat. At least we're not doing manual labor, right? Just manual labor for our brains and souls.

Content Putting 10 breakpoints in 20 lines of code be like.. 'STASTIST STOP SUSTSTQSTSTOP

Content Can you hand me the screwdriver over there Ummm, master Certainly master Yes? What does it mean to be human? Is it the flesh and bone? Is it the thing you humans call a soul? IdotoftheEast Or is it something innate that we machines could never obtain? No, my boy It's the ability to select all squares with traffic lights in this captcha! What traffic lights?