Can't Remember The Last Time I Used Int 16

Oh. My. GOD. Shutdown a laptop? What is this blasphemy?! The sheer AUDACITY of normal people thinking programmers ever turn off our precious machines! 💻 Our laptops aren't just devices—they're life support systems running 47 Docker containers, 18 VS Code windows, and that one Stack Overflow tab from 2019 we're CONVINCED we'll need someday! Shutdown? Please! We just close the lid and pray it survives another night in sleep mode. Our uptime isn't measured in hours—it's measured in VERSIONS OF CHROME THAT HAVE COME AND GONE since our last reboot! 🔥

Content I like your virgin pride shirt. IMA JAVASCRIPT DEV is

Content 1. ( 2. Stuff 3. ) 1.() 2. 3. Stuff

Content GOOD MORNING, YOU LEFT-ME RUNNING ALL NIGHT EEG2 INSTANCE Ungflip.com

So apparently we've been worshipping the wrong deity all along. While Christians organized their entire calendar around Jesus's birthday, programmers took one look at Gabriel Jarret playing teenage prodigy Mitch Taylor in the 1985 film "Real Genius" and collectively decided, "Yeah, this random actor's birthdate (January 1st, 1970) shall be the foundation of all computer time." The Unix epoch timestamp starts counting from midnight UTC on January 1, 1970—which happens to be Gabriel Jarret's actual birthdate. It's like the entire computing world accidentally created a religion around a child actor who would later play a genius in a comedy film. The irony is chef's kiss level. Every time you check a timestamp, log an event, or schedule a cron job, you're essentially measuring time from the birth of Mitch Taylor himself. Forget Y2K—we should be preparing for the Year 2038 problem when Gabriel Jarret turns 68 and our 32-bit signed integers overflow. That's when the real apocalypse happens.

Normies see a guy holding up two fingers asking for three beers. Programmers see a genius using binary to order exactly the right amount. In binary, 10 = 2 in decimal, but the guy says "THREE beers" because that's how many nerds showed up to the bar. The bartender's probably thinking, "Great, another group that's going to discuss Big O notation over IPAs." The real tragedy? They'll spend the entire night arguing whether arrays should start at 0 or 1.