Average PHP Developers

The eternal zombie of web development strikes again! PHP continues to shamble along despite countless "PHP is dead" articles published every year since approximately 2005. The language that powers 77% of all websites somehow persists through constant ridicule, security concerns, and syntactical oddities that would make any CS professor weep. Yet there it is, running WordPress, Facebook, and probably your company's legacy codebase that nobody wants to touch. Its survival skills are unmatched - like a cockroach after nuclear winter, PHP simply refuses to die.

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting(E ALL); ini set ("displayerrors", true); printi'7xml version"1.0" encoding "UTF-8" 7'. "In"):?

Content rele styleshr Can you find the rele styles the mistake? enr class tamer" ear class har ?php chiv class 'hav aracer" etir class contatoer's echo "foo", ? Emanuel Vintila The mistake is using PHP DO 113 Haha Reply 11w

Ah, the classic "no excuses" motivational poster with a twist. Sure, if some morally bankrupt CEO can juggle multiple catastrophes of his own making AND still find time for Coldplay, you can definitely learn PHP. Though frankly, both choices are questionable life decisions. At least PHP doesn't require alimony payments.

Behold, the perfect visual representation of a recursive function with no base case! That knitted head is what happens to your server when you call explode() inside itself. The function keeps calling itself forever until your stack memory looks like that poor little knitted character—completely blown up. The only thing missing is the server admin's face when they get the 3AM alert.

Content Madza as 4 o madzadev Python has 2 PHP has Java has Follow What's your emoji for JavaScript? 7:44 pm 12 Apr 24 70.1K Views 7 Reposts 20 Quotes 277 Likes 26 Bookmarks 17 Chris Chattin ChrisChattin 4h Replying to madzadev 97 121 134 il 2.5K