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Content PROCRAMMING EXPLAINED WITH MUSIC PHP IS COUNTRI IT SUCKS BUT IT'S EVERYWHERE y toggl JAVASCRIPT 15 A ONE-MAN BAND. IT DOES EVERYTHING (THOUGHT: IT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T C IS HARD ROCK - IT USED TO BE PRETTY POPULAR BUT MOST PEOPLE HAVE OUTGROWN CSS IS MUMBLE RAP- ANYONE CAN DO IT AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A PROGRAMMER HASKELL IS JAZZ- COMPLEX BUT INCREDIBLY POWERFUL AND FLEXIBLE (IF YOU KNOW How USE SWIFT Is U2 - YoU HavE IT BECAUSE APPLE GAVE IT TO YOU JAVA IS AN OBSCURE 17-CENTURY SYMPHONY - YoU Have To TAKE A CLaSS To KNOW ABOUT IT LISP IS BLACK METAL - NO ONE UNDERSTANDS IT AND ITS FANS MAKE PEDPLE NERVOUS MART VIRKUS'19

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'

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Content Me operating an actual server Also me operating a washing machine "Alright, proxmox installed, all the 19 LXCs are properly set up. Web services are proxied through a nginx to make SSL cert setup easier. Valheim, CS:GO and icarus game servers are running. And it only took 45 Minutes." "Hi Mum, thanks for answering my call. Listen, I have a question, where do I put in the laundry detergent?"

Ah, the eternal bathroom standoff between PHP and literally everyone else. After 30+ years of being the internet's punching bag, PHP devs have developed the thickest skin in tech. While other languages come and go with their fancy new paradigms, PHP just keeps chugging along like that legacy codebase nobody wants to touch but somehow powers half the internet. The best part? By 2025, PHP devs won't even flinch at the hate. They'll just be counting their WordPress maintenance contract money while the "modern" JavaScript framework of the week implodes spectacularly. Remember: PHP has been "dying" since 2004, yet somehow still runs 77% of the web. That's not a language—that's a cockroach with job security.

Content php Humor Never Ask A Woman Her Age A Man, His Salary PHP What the P stands for