One Big Mac Coming Up, Sir

The ultimate tech interview power move. Skip the résumé, just hack the interviewer's calendar. Bonus points for finding their salary spreadsheet while you're in there. When they ask about your "ethical hacking skills," just stare blankly and say "what ethics?"

Someone clearly wrote this code before their morning coffee! The docstring says it "clothes the connection" instead of "closes the connection" - a classic caffeine-deficient typo that somehow made it through code review. Meanwhile, the function is actually doing what it's supposed to: checking if the socket exists before closing it. The contrast between the typo and the correct implementation is peak programmer brain operating on low power mode.

Nothing says "I've seen some things" quite like remembering when you had to literally phone your way onto the internet. Dial-up was the OG loading screen—except it took 30 seconds of demonic screeching noises before you could even think about loading a webpage. And God forbid someone picked up the phone while you were connected, because your connection would drop faster than a segfault in production. That Windows XP-era dialog box with its gloriously skeuomorphic design brings back memories of 56k modems, AOL CDs flooding your mailbox, and the sheer patience required to download a single MP3. You'd click "Dial," hear the modem negotiate with the ISP like two fax machines having an argument, and pray the connection succeeded on the first try. Bonus points if you remember configuring PPP settings or troubleshooting IRQ conflicts just to get online. The "Anyone who uses this computer" option is peak early 2000s security practices—because who needs proper user authentication when you're the only nerd in the house with internet access?

OH. MY. GOD. The bathroom saga of HTTP status codes is the DRAMA I never knew I needed! 💀 From the mundane 301 redirect (gotta pee somewhere else) to the catastrophic 500 internal server error (TENTACLE MONSTER IN THE TOILET?!), this is basically the restroom version of a horror film! And the 401 is MISSING because you need AUTHENTICATION to get in! Nobody gave you the bathroom pass, honey! Meanwhile, 402 is standing there like "Payment Required" with a velvet rope, acting like it's some exclusive club bathroom. THE AUDACITY. And don't get me started on 418 ("I'm a teapot")... like, sweetie, this is NOT the time for an identity crisis!

So you left Cloudflare, probably for that "amazing opportunity" at a startup that promised equity and ping pong tables, only to realize the grass isn't always greener. Now you're back at the same company, but this time as an intern. The demotion is real, and that fancy reception desk is giving off some serious "we both know what happened here" vibes. The boomerang employee phenomenon hits different when you come back at a lower level. At least the office still looks nice, and hey, Cloudflare's CDN is pretty solid, so there's that. Maybe this time you'll appreciate the free coffee and stable infrastructure before chasing the next shiny thing.

GASP! The AUDACITY of this truth bomb! 💣 Discord—that shiny, emoji-filled, notification-factory we all pretend is "revolutionary"—is literally just IRC with a makeover and marketing budget! It's like watching your dad try to be cool by wearing the same clothes as you but calling them by different names. IRC veterans are SCREAMING into their mechanical keyboards right now while Gen Z is like "what's an IRC?" For the uninitiated, IRC (Internet Relay Chat) is the prehistoric dinosaur that ruled chat platforms since the 80s before Discord waltzed in with its fancy interface and convinced everyone it invented group messaging. The circle of tech life continues—everything old becomes new again, just with more GIFs and a higher valuation!