The King Of Digital Jungle

Behold the true alpha of the workplace food chain. While the rest of us frantically respond to "Can you jump on a quick call?" messages at 4:59 PM, this majestic creature has achieved notification nirvana.

The only ping this lion acknowledges is the sound of the refrigerator door opening at lunchtime. Meanwhile, your Teams status has been "Available" for so long, Microsoft is considering making you their mascot.

True power isn't measured by salary or job title—it's measured by how confidently you can ignore that little red notification badge without experiencing heart palpitations.