Please Take All My Money Microsoft

Content How to fix any computer The Oatmeal Windows Step I. Reboot Apple Step I. Take it to an Apple store. v Did that fix it, No? Proceed to step a Did that fix it; No? Proceed to step a Step a. Format hard drive Reinstall Windows Lose all your files. Quietly weep. Step a. Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account. Quietly weep. Linux Step I. Learn to code in C. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giont beard. Blame Sun Microsusters. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hugene. Write a regular expression that would make other precrammers cry blood. Learn to code in Java Recompile the kernel again Cut thic time while wearing your lucky socks) Did that fix its Nor Proceed to step an Step a. Revert back to using Windows or a Mac. Quietlu weep.

Content How signal handling works: Browser freezes Windows Unix Sir would you please kill your self in order to SIGKILL signal free some resources? M29 -CISIOTE 16 4

Content Visually-Impaired Boy Lands Job at Microsoft by Learning Coding from YouTube NEWS. News18 6h

Content Why do Astronauts use Linux? Because they can't open Windows in space

Microsoft Edge is basically the digital equivalent of that clingy ex who refuses to accept it's over. The meme shows the Edge logo photoshopped onto a character emerging from imprisonment, screaming "After ten thousand years, I'm free!" - which is exactly what Edge does every time you accidentally click its icon. Windows keeps it buried deep in the system, just waiting for that misclick so it can launch itself, set itself as default, and remind you about "better battery performance" like some desperate used car salesman. The only thing missing is Edge asking if you've thought about its feelings lately.

Remember when we'd spend hours defragging hard drives just to squeeze out a bit more performance? This zebra's gone through the same treatment - consolidating all those black and white stripes into neat, contiguous blocks. Disk optimization for animals! Next up: running chkdsk on a dalmatian and upgrading a giraffe's neck to SSD. The younger devs won't even understand what defragging is... just like they've never experienced the sweet symphony of a dial-up modem.